Why some Black women only date White Men
We always talk about Black women and how they can’t date White men. Well, there are those black women that only date White men. I remember a pal of mine telling me once that she will never get married to Black man. And even as kids, when playing make believe, she was always married to a White guy.
The reason for women like her who only date white men may be very similar to the reasons why most Black women only date Black men … attraction. Some also feel that Black men treat them better than any other man ever could, and they feel that they'd rather have what they know instead of experimenting with what they don’t know.
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Some Black women are just not physically attracted to Black men. And as much as parents usually like hooking us up with people of our own race, well it reaches a time when you have to be honest with yourself. Imagine my pal for example: As a child, her first crush was Adam Sandler, then as she got older, she fell in love with Mel Gibson. This doesn’t mean that Black men aren’t handsome – they are just not her type.
Some also feel that White men (not ALL but many) find black women to be remarkable in every sense of the word; hence Black women tend to gravitate towards those affections. Much as her husband treats her better than any man ever had, one lady admits that she has been with some White men that disgusted her with their behaviors. But she says that generally, older White men and very mature on a broader level than with Black men on many levels.
Some are just wildly turned on by the differences … skin color, hair, being raised in different cultures, music, foods … the list is endless. Its all about the desire for the mysterious and unknown. And for some, its just pure love because there are those that forget that we are ‘black’ and ‘white’ and just coincidentally happened to fall in love with a White guys.
One thing we all have to remember is that not every White man is a Black woman’s dream. It all depends on the individual … good and bad comes in all colors.
With that said, the generic phrase - ‘It should be about love and not color’ – is cute. But in this case, not entirely truthful. Its not only about love. Much as love gets cultivated eventually, there is physical attraction and a declaration to date only one race. Racist or preference?
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1841 responses to "Why some Black women only date White Men"
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NaturallyBlackandProud says:Posted: 01 Dec 08
Mr Laurelton Queens: I have read several of your comments, rebuttles, and opinions. And one thing I can say about you is that you are consistant. Not neccissarily in your statements, but definately in your viewpoint on interracial dating. Your views are your views and I don't see anyone changing that. However, I have to dispell a lot of the stereotypes/perceptions about the type of black woman (who you refer to as sellouts) that date outside of thier race. I am a very well educated, acccomplished, professional, well spoken black woman....so, by your specifications...I fit the bill. But I am also soulful and earthy, tell it like it is, am extremely independent/self-made, have natural (unprocessed) hair and am very PROUD of my black heritage. I am not the typical kind of woman that dates outside of her race. I come from a STRONG black family, am a strong black woman....and, in order to date me, you must not only appreciate that, but respect it. I don't try to act in anyway different than what I've always known to be me. Nor do I try to "fit in" with different circles (be it white or otherwise) by trying to act like something I'm not. I LOVE being a black woman and I also LOVE what I see in the mirror everyday. I am engaged to an Italian-American man, who, in our society, would check the box labeled "white". To me, he is the love of my life.....simply put. He loves me unconditionally, respectfully, for exactly who I am, and as a woman(of any race) should be loved. He puts me, my feelings, and my desires first in his life as I do his...and we are vowing to spend the rest of our lives building our legacy b/c of those reasons. That, my friend is LOVE....period. I try not to deal in society's stero-types of race and racial relations. I deal in what is relevant to my life. To us, our cultures and thier differences make our lives more fruitful, exciting, enriched; and gives us a broader perspective on the world, what lies ahead for our country, our children, and our possibilities. I say all of this to conclude that not all black women who find themselves IN LOVE with white men conform to and/or seek that reality. Some simply let thier heart do the talking and find something real and beautiful along the way....and that beautiful relationship happens to be with someone who's skin is a different color than yours. Trust me...I am not trying to change your mind...as it is quite clear that it's succinct in its thinking and has a clear cut conclusion on the matter. But I challenge you to explore your position as it is a bit narrow-minded. I've dated black men as well, but have dated 2 other white men during my lifetime (not b/c I specifically seek them out...but b/c I met them and made a connection that we both decided to explore) and them, thier families and friends have all loved me for exactly who I am (Unprocessed/Natural hair, dark skin, opinionated though educated, and honest). Most of the time....to the point where I would hang out with them without my BF even having to be around. They loved me for the same reason that YOU love(or date) black women. Some of the white men that I've dated had never dated black women before me...and some had. Nonetheless....they weren't they "trying to be black" white guy or the "I just want to see what it would be like" white guy. They simply saw beauty in me as a natural, strong, and proud black woman and respected it. I have liberated myslef to not allow race, color, creed, socio-eoconomic status, society, gender,sexual preference, and/or any other superficial forms of existence to narrow my mind to exclude good people from my life. I don't bash black men, white men, or any other races of men. I hold ALL men accountable for thier actions. There are "good for nothing white men/women" AND "good for nothing black men/women"....the challenge is finding ONE man/woman that is "good for you". On another note: I've read Evia's blog and there are some things that I agree with and some that I do not. What I do agree with is that all women should experience true love and commitment in thier lives (whether you choose to marry or not)....and alot of times black women have so many pressures to be so many things to so many people besides themselves...that they never get the chance to experience that love and support in a love relationship. I can understand why you think Evia is advocating black women dating outside of thier race....but she is really saying that black women should not restict themselves from feeling the unconditional love and support of a "good" marriage" or "relationship" for the sake of race preservation. And that, I totally agree with. Peace Blessings Love and Prosperous Vibes to you all...
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Member says:Posted: 01 Dec 08
Dear I'm just saying Let me clarify my statements on this issue. Some sellout black women that date white men tend to bash black men. I have a great disdain for them as people. Then their are sellout black women that agree with these women but are not as vocal about it. I always believed in the "friend of my enemy is also my enemy." I just rather not sit on the fence and pretend like it is "all good with sellout black women." As for the "hotel incident" you said it was to show that not all black men are accountable for the actions of one person. If that was the case why even bring up the story in the first place. I never hear a story about a white man dumping you or never making commitments to you in relationships. It is always something negative black men did to you. Personally this whole idea of black men harassing black women in interracial relationships is bullshit. I have never seen that happen. I have seen dirty looks and I have seen people "shun" a sellout black girl but that's about it. I have seen white people treat the interracial pairing of "black women with white men far worse." Nobody ever talks about that. That is one of the reasons why sellout black girls have animosity towards white women because of those instances. Instead of talking about what white society does to interracial relationships between white men and black women. They focus on black men, like we are on the corner of the block waiting for an interracial couple to walk by to harass them. Most of us live in the black community. I live in the black community if sellout black women date outside their race they are hardly in the black community. They are usually in a white area trying " to fit in." The impression you give people is that black men venture out of their community to go to a white community to harass you with a white man. You got to be fucking kidding me. I have no resentment towards sellout black women. I am troubled they bash black men and act like their angels or the victims. In conclusion Mention some shit white men did to your ass as an example that was negative or whatever. You got no backbone to that shit. I am gone.
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Member says:Posted: 01 Dec 08
Mr Laurelton Queens, I am confused..In one paragraph you sound as though you are simply speaking to "sell-out" black women-which in your terms are black women who bash black men. Clearly I explained earlier I never bashed Black men. Then you turned around and said, "sellout black women talk about the love for their fathers, uncles,etc". So, I am wondering, are you calling women (black) that date white men sellouts? At first you said you only call the women that that bash black men etc. Then you turn around and said people that say some of the stuff I said . For example when I stated my love for the black men in my family, i took the following paragraph you wrote to be directed at me: "It is like are you “on our side” or are your a sellout? Some sellout black women go on about how they have fathers, brothers and uncles that they ‘love”. Yet the black community most of the time accept your mates. Your white mate and his family “look down on you”. " If that was directed towards me, then we just disagree. I never use situations that I have experienced for people to feel sorry for me. Actually that hotel incident i mentioned earlier was to emphasize the fact I do not hold all black men accountable for the actions of one. Oreo? Because a women dates a white man does not mean she wants to be white. Or at least I don't. I don't try to be accepted by the white community. I guess it doesn't matter what I say..You have your mind made up and I hope this person (who ever she may be )and you make ammends because it seems to me you have so much resentment towards bw that date white men that you don't see past the fact that not all women are the same. it is not an attack against you.
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Member says:Posted: 29 Nov 08
Let me address you real quick. Black men never said we own black women. You think we said that a big difference. I doubt you talk to every black male to know their opinion. Secondly I was responding to another women on the board not you. Once again I have never heard Latin , Asian and Pakistan men harassed by black men over overweight black women. Sorry to burst your bubble and your ego. It is simply the truth. Stop sucking your own nipples thinking black men "desire" every black women whether their nerdy, obese, light skin or whatever category you claim. Lastly I have NEVER heard a black woman ever say " You know what" not every man wants me." Now run along before you want to play with the big "black boys like me." Good day to you.
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NYC says:Posted: 28 Nov 08
Black women are not "sellouts" who date white men. Why do you black men think that every bw belongs to you? You don't own that woman. Why are most of you so angry at seeing that union? You have your pick of just about any woman of any race/culture/creed. Or you just trying to limit bw to just bm so you can have something to fall back on? Never hearing Latino men or Asian men say they where harassed by bm. Well as I'm aware of it does happen. It's very apparent that if a bw is not with a bm she is going to be harassed. Black men become easily threatened when a bw has another race/culture of man with her. Perhaps because most of them are real men? Honestly you sound like the typical black boy with issues.
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Member says:Posted: 28 Nov 08
In response to just saying I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving. I think black women that white men are sellouts. The motive for some black women to date outside of race a majority of time, is out of jealousy of black men "doing the same thing". Now there are exceptions to that rule such as the "oreo" black girl that was raised in a white neighborhood that tries desperately to fit in. I used "oreo" not as derogatory statement but as language that would be used by white people towards black people when your backs are turned. The "beefs" I have ongoing with sellout black women are more with the bloggers that make it their mission to tear down black men. At the same time, some black women have to be aware that sitting "on the fence" can't be done in this situation. It is like are you "on our side" or are your a sellout? Some sellout black women go on about how they have fathers, brothers and uncles that they 'love". Yet the black community most of the time accept your mates. Your white mate and his family "look down on you". Like you have to fit their "white standards" to be in their family. You have to say shit like " I am not the typical black female". What exactly is the "typical black female" exactly? I point this out and I am the bad guy. These sellout black women are so desperate to be loved that they will denounce their own race to fit in. This has never really been a "race issue", it is more a motive issue for me. Some sellout black women make references of being harassed by black men. Yet I never hear Latin men or Asian men harassed by black men for dating black women. So I never just listen to half a story some black girl tells me. If your with your white man and you go out of your way to provoke me. Then I will provoke you back plain and simple! We don't go looking for trouble but if you look in my face with your white man like you got a problem than I will give you a problem. I mind my own business. Instead, sellout black women make fabrications about being some place and having black men harass them. Most of the time we don't know that is your white boyfriend. He doesn't even stick up for you and shit. You walk away from him like you two are not together so we think your single. Now we are harassing you now??? Your crazy. So I am really tired of this victim talk sellout black women use to garner sympathy. In my neighborhood those sellout black girls that date white men rarely cross my path or my friends path for their to even be a problem. What I think happens is some sellout black women just want attention, and when niggas give you that "attention" you drag your white man into the shit. Yea your white boyfriend may win one or two fights. Eventually some brothers will "really take it to him." Now do I think its worth dying or going to jail over, NO. I am just giving you the mentality of some black men. I can just articulate better than most brothers in the street that just don't care. I just think it would serve sellout black women to live as a "lap dog" in a white community and be happy with that. Instead they feel they must voice their sellout opinions about how black men treated them in the past. They do the same shit even when they are in an interracial relationship. Yet we are harassing them. I wish my woman would talk about other men and what they did to her for years upon years. I would dump her stupid ass. Listen everybody has been treated bad in the past. I do not flaunt around my dominican girlfriend and call black women names. Like I said before, it's the sellout black girls that causes the friction and then their white boyfriend wants to play hero or "show off" to prove his manhood. 99 percent of time white guys are ok with me. It's the sellout black girl that brings that "drama". Go live your life in Mayberry or play bingo in a small town. That way you do not run into black men. Nobody gives a fuck who you date just keep black men out of your tirades. Sincerely, Me
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Member says:Posted: 27 Nov 08
Wow Daelyn! Well done!I feel we already knew Nadege didn't write that essay. Love the spelling of your name by the way. Mr.Laurelton Queen, I think? I may have you wrong?? See, in some post you sound like the most caring open minded gentlemen, while in others you sound hateful and catty. When you say "sell out black women" are you saying that because you do not agree with our choice to date white men, or are you saying that because some black lady talked bad about black men in general? I do not think all black men are bad. Heck,dad is black as my uncles and all the men in my family. I love them to DEATH. A great example of how awesome some black men are: my cousin's girlfriend just delivered her third baby (a month ago). He works 14 hours a day and he is only 25. When the baby was two weeks old he took the babies out the house (to his mom's)so she could have some "me time" now that was very sweet. I just like white men because I just do. I never insult black men as a whole. If i have something against a black guy I take it out on them individually. Several years ago I was out on a date with a white guy ( he is more a friend than date). Anyways this black guy tried to talk to me(he was with another girl by the way). I just smiled and told him I was with someone. He got pissed and called me a "B*****". So we were walking out to the car and he followed us to the parking lot and start yelling to the white guy I was with,"ni*** lover", over and over.Very loudly. So My friend got tired off it and tried to get out the car to fight him. I was holding his arm pleading for him not to get out. When the black guy saw he was trying to get out he start laughing and backing up, trying to go back inside the hotel. To this day I will never understand why a black person (or anyone for that matter) would even use such filthy words. Why,why,why? I did not take that incident and use it against all black men, because I know they are not all as ignorant as that guy at the hotel that day. I guess my question for you is: Are you calling black women that date white men "sell out" or are you calling black women that bash black men "sell out"? I have never nor will I ever bash black men that way. I love white men and it's not neccessarily because I was mistreated by a black guy. I just tend to like white men better. Contrary to what some have said about black women dating white men to "get out of debt".. I don't know about the other ladies. Speaking for myself..A white guy has NEVER PAID MY BILLS. I work two jobs and I do well on my own. I would not expect him to take on that role. When people think like that it's just another stero-type. Well, I have said this before and it goes for all races....You can not generalize. You can not hold a whole race accountable for the actions of one individual of that race. Hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving..
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Ruth116 says:Posted: 23 Aug 23I wonder if the malcontent who called you names, would kiss his mother with that mouth after saying those filthy words? I doubt seriously if he'd appreciate someone else disrespecting her like he did to you.
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Daelyn says:Posted: 26 Nov 08
I have read most of the comments here without saying anything myself, but when I saw what Nadege wrote then that has gotten me a bit upset. First off Nadege did not write that it was from: What Can the White Man Say to the Black Woman? By Alice Walker, address in support of the National March for Women’s Equality and Women’s Lives in Washington D.C., 22 May 1989 Look it up if you don't believe me. It's a horible racist rant that only serves to divide humanity instead of bringing us together. Every part of the hatred incited by that speech can be refuted easily, all one has to do is come to a little understanding of what human history really was all about. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Yo5XcWY9mo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5kn2T6WKuEc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AiEeok1EEl0&feature=related White men did not go into the jungle and kidnap black people, thats a falacy. Blacks in Africa caught and sold eachother for a long time before White people came onto the scene. They sold them to eachother, to the Arabs, and when Europeans came along in the 1600s they had a new market to sell to. Asians took other Asians as slaves till about up to the modern times. Europeans traditionally took slaves as well. Even the North American natives, some tribes also took slaves. Right here where I live in the Pacific Northwest those on the coast took other natives from the interior as slaves. Human history is ripe with slavery, everyone did it. It was as normal as going to school is in modern times. Blaming one group for all slavery is very ignorant and is also very racist, and I don't care if your ancestors were slaves, you today are not a slave. You have all the freedom as any other group in the USA, when you blame others for your own problems you give up all your power and personal responsibility to another, and you will never get anywhere in life other then to receive a pittance as a handout if you are even so lucky. That is a modern day slave, someone who gives up all personal responsibility for their life. If you must say well White people did it to my ancestors still, then you also must realize that your ancestors were kidnapped by other blacks in their homeland and sold. Then as a final refutation of "The White people did it" is that it was also the White people who ended slavery, it was seen as normal before they were the ones who declared it immoral and wrong. White people ended slavery, and pressured every other peoples to end it all over the world. The idea that the "White Man is evil" is so beyond ignorant to warrant that anyone who says that is full of hatred and racism. You look to others to blame the failings of yourself, what a cheap copout. We are all human beings, we all have a soul, that soul is not Black, nor White, it is a soul just as capable of being in a Black person or a White person. Why do we have so many problems in the world? It's because of our division from eachother, races, religions, culture, language, age, sexes, it never ends, and it won't untill people come together and realize that we are all human beings, all meant to share this earth and love eachother. Replace hatred with love, knowledge instead of ignorance, and realize that we are eternally one instead of eternally divided.
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Golden_Brown says:Posted: 20 Nov 08She may not haved used the best grammer, but her points were very valid! I must retire from commenting on this blog...it's clear that some people would rather continue to keep hate and vengance going! This years election turn out was enough for me to at least be content in the thought that ignorance, bitterness, and hatred are now in the minority! Blessed life to you all!
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Roskolnikov says:Posted: 20 Nov 08
Ah, another incoherent rant from a barely literate person. Before expressing your opinions in this venue please bear in mind that if you have the grammar skills of an eight year old you will probably only succeed in making a fool of yourself.
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Member says:Posted: 20 Nov 08
Nadge, What you said about the "white man" is a general statement. Generalizing all "white " men had a play in slavery. You can not prove that. Some white people did do the things you mentioned, but not all of them. steryo-types like yours will only paralyze your mind. If the "white man" did all those things what about the steryo-types other people put on us as blacks. Yes, true there are a lot of blacks (and whites) that robs stores, drop out of school, have 10 kids by different women and not take care of them, shot innocent people, ob women with babies, the list goes on forever... Just because some black people do the things you see on tv and hear on the news doesn't mean that EVERY black person is that way.. If everyone was to live by your steryo-types that's how it would be. Seriously, tell me you don't think that EVERY white person (ancestors) were slave masters. You said, "the white man ruled over the womb of black women" I dont know believe that was over every black womans womb. I will tell you this, A white man will rule over my womb when I get married AND I WILL BEAR AS MANY CHILDREN AS HE WANTS!!
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Roskolnikov says:Posted: 20 Nov 08
Nadege, Did you pen that wonderful essay? If you did not then please tell me who did. It is powerful, eloquent, and true. If I were a younger man I would have had those words tattooed onto my skin rather than the burning Confederate flag that I have on my arm. Those are words that every woman should heed.
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Nadege says:Posted: 19 Nov 08
What Can the White Man Say to the Black Woman? What is of use in these words I offer in memory of our common mother. And to my daughter. What can the white man say to the black woman? For four hundred years he ruled over the black woman’s womb. Let us be clear. In the barracoons and along the slave shipping coasts of Africa, for more than twenty generations, it was he who dashed our babies brains out against the rocks. What can the white man say to the black woman? For four hundred years he determined which black woman’s children would live or die. Let it be remembered. It was he who placed our children on the auction block in cities all across the eastern half of what is now the United States, and listened to and watched them beg for their mothers’ arms, before being sold to the highest bidder and dragged away. What can the white man say to the black woman? We remember that Fannie Lou Hamer, a poor sharecropper on a Mississippi plantation, was one of twenty-one children; and that on plantations across the South black women often had twelve, fifteen, twenty children. Like their enslaved mothers and grandmothers before them, these black women were sacrificed to the profit the white man could make from harnessing their bodies and their children’s bodies to the cotton gin. What can the white man say to the black woman? We see him lined up on Saturday nights, century after century, to make the black mother, who must sell her body to feed her children, go down on her knees to him. Let us take note: He has not cared for a single one of the dark children in his midst, over hundreds of years. Where are the children of the Cherokee, my great grandmother’s people? Gone. Where are the children of the Blackfoot? Gone. Where are the children of the Lakota? Gone. Of the Cheyenne? Of the Chippewa? Of the Iroquois? Of the Sioux? Of the Mandinka? Of the Ibo? Of the Ashanti? Where are the children of the Slave Coast and Wounded Knee? We do not forget the forced sterilizations and forced starvations on the reservations, here as in South Africa. Nor do we forget the smallpox-infested blankets Indian children were given by the Great White Fathers of the United States government. What has the white man to say to the black woman? When we have children you do everything in your power to make them feel unwanted from the moment they are born. You send them to fight and kill other dark mothers’ children around the world. You shove them onto public highways in the path of oncoming cars. You shove their heads through plate glass windows. You string them up and you string them out. What has the white man to say to the black woman? From the beginning, you have treated all dark children with absolute hatred. Thirty million African children died on the way to the Americas, where nothing awaited them but endless toil and the crack of a bullwhip. They died of a lack of food, of lack of movement in the holds of ships. Of lack of friends and relatives. They died of depression, bewilderment and fear. What has the white man to say to the black woman? Let us look around us: Let us look at the world the white man has made for the black woman and her children. It is a world in which the black woman is still forced to provide cheap labor, in the form of children, for the factories and on the assembly lines of the white man. It is a world into which the white man dumps every foul, person-annulling drug he smuggles into creation. It is a world where many of our babies die at birth, or later of malnutrition, and where many more grow up to live lives of such misery they are forced to choose death by their own hands. What has the white man to say to the black woman, and to all women and children everywhere? Let us consider the depletion of the ozone; let us consider homelessness and the nuclear peril; let us consider the destruction of the rain forests_in the name of the almighty hamburger. Let us consider the poisoned apples and the poisoned water and the poisoned air and the poisoned earth. And that all of our children, because of the white man’s assault on the planet, have a possibility of death by cancer in their almost immediate future. What has the white, male lawgiver to say to any of us? To those of us who love life too much to willingly bring more children into a world saturated with death? Abortion, for many women, is more than an experience of suffering beyond anything most men will ever know; it is an act of mercy, and an act of self-defense. To make abortion illegal again is to sentence millions of women and children to miserable lives and even more miserable deaths. Given his history, in relation to us, I think the white man should be ashamed to attempt to speak for the unborn children of the black woman. To force us to have children for him to ridicule, drug and turn into killers and homeless wanderers is a testament to his hypocrisy. What can the white man say to the black woman? Only one thing that the black woman might hear. Yes, indeed, the white man can say, Your children have the right to life. Therefore I will call back from the dead those 30 million who were tossed overboard during the centuries of the slave trade. And the other millions who died in my cotton fields and hanging from trees. I will recall all those who died of broken hearts and broken spirits, under the insult of segregation. I will raise up all the mothers who died exhausted after birthing twenty-one children to work sunup to sundown on my plantation. I will restore to full health all those who perished for lack of food, shelter, sunlight, and love; and from my inability to see them as human beings. But I will go even further: I will tell you, black woman, that I wish to be forgiven the sins I commit daily against you and your children. For I know that until I treat your chil dren with love, I can never be trusted by my own. Nor can I respect myself. And I will free your children from insultingly high infant mortality rates, short life spans, horrible housing, lack of food, rampant ill health. I will liberate them from the ghetto. I will open wide the doors of all the schools and hospitals and businesses of society to your children. I will look at your children and see not a threat but a joy. I will remove myself as an obstacle in the path that your children, against all odds, are making toward the light. I will not assassinate them for dreaming dreams and offering new visions of how to live. I will cease trying to lead your children, for I can see I have never understood where I was going. I will agree to sit quietly for a century or so, and meditate on this. This is what the white man can say to the black woman. We are listening.
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tatted2death says:Posted: 19 Nov 08wow....I go away for awhile and this place does a 180...in a good way. I was glad to see that in my absence Jenn (aka Sista Soujah) stepped up to the plate and did not let Mr. Queens get away with all the inflammatory nonsense that he was known to spew. but to you MR. Queens.....I am so glad that you have taken a step back and truly rethought your views (well, maybe at least your tactics). I still have much respect for you....peace and love tatted2death
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Golden_Brown says:Posted: 18 Nov 08
Oh...and Jenn, I use Jay-Z's quote alot too! LOL
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Golden_Brown says:Posted: 18 Nov 08
Go Tampa Chris! I'm happy to see that your consistant positivity had some bearing on the outlook of at least one man! Mr. Queens, like so many before me have said, it is clear that you are an intelligent man. I am happy to see you let go of some of the anger and take the first step past color! I must say, I am beginning to understand what your definition is of a sellout black woman. To you, a black women is a sellout when she completely turns her back on her own race. Your frustration comes when black women stereotyping black men. Please correct me if I have misunderstood. Once again, I am happy to hear peace from you Mr. Queens, and I'm not trying to re-start a squashed debate. To hear you agree to a new understanding gives me even more positive outlook that others will eventually do the same!
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Member says:Posted: 18 Nov 08
To janet Blount- I have read the post on here and i do not recall anyone saying they "look at their race in disgust" Just because a woman dates outside her race does not mean she looks at her race in disgust. my dad is black and I love him. I also happen to love dating white men. They seem to love me as well. I get hit on by black men , but more so by white men. I guess that explains why when i go to TCBY I ALWAYS GET vanilla and choclate swirl...YUMMY! tO ANDRE: no it's not double standard.. i find nothing wrong with white women and black men. My cousin has a white g/f. It's all good to me. That shows family values. We accept them and their babies. We are a tight family like that. you or anyone should never be afraid of what your family thinks. If you are happy.. rock with it! I do..all the time and I don't care what anybody says. I can not help I am attracted to white men..Not the Vanilla Ice type, but the professional kind... I remember being 5 years old and my grandmother would watch "Young and the Restless" and i had the biggest crush on Bradley. I use to take naps dreaming about him. I didn't know what love was back then , but I sure know I felt it when I saw that fine white man. At 5 years old i felt that way. Wow..I can't help it.
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mahogany says:Posted: 17 Nov 08
i'm married to a white man amd i'm ablack lady we have been married for 5 years now and i got married when i was 18 and he treats me like a true african queen i have dated black guys in the past and they were absolute dogs but i'm not saying all black men are like that because they are not but it all comes down to how my husband treats me and the amazing sex we have and all the things he does to me in bed.white men are a lot more passionate in general and affectionate and i love the way he kisses the back of my neck and he tells me he loves me at least twice a day and he loves my curves even after having a baby and everything he owns is in the colour black.even his white friends that have never been with a black girl before are now very curious about black girls.why do you think abck in the slavery days white rich masters used to like to have a black girl to bath them when thier wives aren't there.
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mahogany says:Posted: 17 Nov 08
i'm married to a white man amd i'm ablack lady we have been married for 5 years now and i got married when i was 18 and he treats me like a true african queen i have dated black guys in the past and they were absolute dogs but i'm not saying all black men are like that because they are not but it all comes down to how my husband treats me and the amazing sex we have and all the things he does to me in bed.white men are a lot more passionate in general and affectionate and i love the way he kisses the back of my neck and he tells me he loves me at least twice a day and he loves my curves even after having a baby and everything he owns is in the colour black.even his white friends that have never been with a black girl before are now very curious about black girls.why do you think abck in the slavery days white rich masters used to like to have a black girl to bath them when thier wives aren't there.
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Tampa_Chris says:Posted: 17 Nov 08
Well Waaagwaan Mr. Queens. Much respect for the last post and if I do ever have a radio show I will be sure to have you all on it.
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Member says:Posted: 16 Nov 08
Dear Tampa Chris You make a good point. I have thought about it. This negativity that I have contributed to has not enhanced my life for the better. The Bob Marley statement made me think about since I am Jamaican. I have mixed feelings about the whole debate. I want black women to be happy. When I actually read the statistics I can honestly say black men have dropped the ball. At the end of the day I do not want people to say I was racist. I want people to say that I cared enough to even comment on the situation. I use to think it was about race. Now I believe it is just about social class at this point. I will keep it real there is certain black women I will not date. As for dating white women I have never tried it or was interested in it. But you never know. Seems like I am turning over a new leaf. I read an article about a White Marine getting killed by his black fellow marines and his black wife got raped and shot. They say it was just robbery but I think it is more than that. How can you do that to your white homey "who probably" thought you was his friend. That is unforgivable. I was disgusted by those events and I just think this whole "situation" was a wake up call. To be honest with you in real life black women that date interracially still mix it up with black men ( not sexually). I have a lot of female friends and I thought about it. It was wrong you treat them like that. As for the sellout black women that bash us for no just reason. Man I will be on your ass until the end of time! Tampa Chris your a good guy. I use to live in Poinicana Kissimmee Florida. I actually think your sincere. Your one of the "few white guys" that have the balls to talk about race and dating. You should have a talk show. Homey you know how much money you would make talking about interracial dating. I should have kept that idea to myself. Take it easy.
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Tampa_Chris says:Posted: 16 Nov 08
I choose Black women over White, Asian, and Hispanic all day every day. I date all different races of women, but a man's got his preferences. Black women to me have much more of a stronger sense of substance, pride, and culture. Queens definitely has his stats fa sure, but I really think this whole "interracial mentality" is the forefront for what WILL BE rather than what is and has been. And I wouldn't put the whole race in these statistical categories, but I have seen the good, bad, and ugly that Queens and all the other women on this blog talk about. In the end I really think the ill comments on this blog is a waste b/c of the power of love and tolerance that is moving all of us as a people in this world. In the words of the late great Bob Marley, "None but ourselves can free our minds."
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Member says:Posted: 16 Nov 08
See I really didn't even want to respond to her. I was trying to be nice but since this debate is heating up. I decided to back up my arguments and of course respond to "nappy head". Of course with all due respect. Now she is blaming black men for allegedly discriminating against dark skin women. I personally have never seen that and I am a dark skin man. God, I do not know pathetic women like her keep running around telling people this. Maybe you are just unattractive it has nothing to do with you being dark skin. That is the problem with some sellout black women; their ego will not allow them to think that maybe your just not attractive. That is not a color thing, if black men saw an Ethiopian girl from Africa and was hot. We would try to talk to her directly. Then you claim I spread lies, about what exactly. Bring out your statistics; I am waiting to see them. Perhaps you are upset I responded with a rebuttal that you did not like. Why would I be angry to see black women happy? You are the one up on this board bashing black men and talking about they do not like you because of your dark skin. I do not make up statistics because you cannot lie about numbers. You should know this if you attended college. I am not even mad, I am listening to you. I will put it to you like this. Some black men are raised in single parents home. God bless the mother for doing what she can under whatever circumstances. My parent’s generation did not have a high divorce rate as they do now. In addition, the single rate for black women was not that high. Fast forward to the way things are now. Now you are blaming black men for your poor decisions in men you date. So running to the white man will solve all your problems. If that was the case black men would not be overlapping you when it comes to interracial dating. What is your excuse now that "White men" just did not get the "memo" about us. Yea they know about you they just ain't falling for the bullshit. Your excuse is “well white men are scared off by us”. UM no try another excuse. Well White men just do not know they can date us. HMMMM wrong, try again. Well black men have brainwashed us with mind control. HMMM lol no we have not. The answer is white men will chose to date a white women, Latin woman and Asian woman before your ass! So you can front for people here but that will not solve the underlying issue. If you were such a “catch for dating,” a majority of black men would not be leaving your ass alone with a child. So do not give me your speech about how you are going to be “different” to white men. I know white men that cannot deal with their black baby mother right now. You can sit there and blame black men until your blue in the face. At some point, some of you are reinforcing that poor image. You even admit you will manipulate white men. Then make some excuse, dump them, and go back to black men. This has happened on more than one occasion. I am not hating I seen that happen first hand. I know girls that are doing that right now. Stop fooling people on here man. You show me the stats about black women. Here is an article http://news.newamericamedia.org/news/view_article.html?article_id=0b237a9b1f0ed62a9fb384dbaa7ffb43 Excerpts from the article Twenty percent of black single mothers in the study had been divorced, but 62 percent had never been married – suggesting that black single mothers – more than any ethnic group – were most likely to have never been married. SIXTY-TWO PERCENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is not just black men not proposing to you. Maybe I am reading this wrong. Another excerpt from the article Nearly one third of all single mothers – 32 percent – live below the poverty line. However, the condition is more acute for black single mothers: 38 percent, or 1.2 million of 3.1 million black single mothers raise families below the poverty line, according to Census data. THIRTY-EIGHT PERCENT Black women got a right to be angry. It is not as if I am insensitive here. I just do not think White Boy “Billy” is coming to rescue you out of poverty. However, these 1.2 million black women that people on this board overlook. They need strong black men that care about them like me. Therefore, this whole crap about me worried about not finding a “date”. I will repeat it one time, and then again, you must be sniffing glue. In conclusion I wasn't wrong when I said black women want "Billy" for his money and get them out of their debt. You can disagree with me but you can't argue numbers. What she is going to do now is giving you "personal stories" of "never seeing that". I don't deal with stories just numbers. You had better come with something better than that. Show your stats Mrs. Nappy Head Good day to you
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jenn says:Posted: 16 Nov 08I find it interesting that you guys have dated dark skinned Black men in that past and are dark skinned yourself. You must not be from the south lol. Dark skin Black men avoid dark skin Black women like the plague in my experience. The Black men that I have been with have all been light skinned or mixed, not necessarily by my own choice, but because they were always the ones approaching me. I will admit though I have grown to find the more attractive because the self hate in dark skin Black men is a huge turnoff. As far as whatshisface, look nobody is reading your garbage. You got your ass handed to you in the discussion because you didn't know what you were talking about you were just angry to see Black women happy. So be smart and give up and stop replying trying to fix your bruised, idiotic ego. P.S., lying and making up stats isn't a good strategy to win an argument, especially when you already lost. Mixed race children with Black fathers are the most likely to not know their fathers or be brought up in single mother headed homes. Ho hum. Surprise, surprise. Black men are running out on their responsibilities with women, no matter the race. The same cannot be said of Black women. I have stats to prove my case, you don't. You fail. Epically. Good day Lastly, Beauty, I don't hate Black men. I'm just going to call it like I see it, especially now that they are attempting to rage some type of public verbal war against Black women. I will speak out and defend sistas and thats exactly what I'm doing. So its not hate, its really not even drawn from personal experience because the relationships I've had with Black men didn't leave me scarred or anything. I just will not stand idly by while they attempt to throw Black women under the bus and destroy our names in order to make themselves look better (or less worse anyway). Just won't do it.
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yume247 says:Posted: 16 Nov 08
Physically, I am attracted to brothers (black men). But I connect better with white men on an emotional and mental level. I find them to be more emotionally matured. With a few exceptions, they tend to be more respectful and serious about relationships.
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Tampa_Chris says:Posted: 15 Nov 08
Beauty, i'm not married. Haven't found my Queen just yet. In do time though, but until then i'm on my quest to be the complete "Urban Renaissance Man." Got a lot goin for me so I wanna make sure I get that down first. Marriage is a blessing though so I'm sure i'll embrace it as it comes as I do wit all God's gifts. C
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Swtgurl190 says:Posted: 15 Nov 08
You go Jenn! Just when I was about to say just ignore him and hopefully he'll go away. Half the time I don't know why people respond anyway, becaue we've completely got away from what this blog's topic was a long time ago. I've been away for awhile because I just got tired of it, but I'm glad I came back to read Jenn. Very intelligent lady and before anyone assumes that my encouraging words to her mean that I hate black me.....DON'T. I love black men, I am afterall black, which means I had a black father and I have black brothers and so on. That doesn't mean I can't love a white man too though....and I do...lol
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BeautyBeyondWords says:Posted: 15 Nov 08
I thought you were married, Tampa? Didn't you say that in an earlier post...? What are you doing dating? Huh? lol...lol... I think that Jenn had very good points. How many times does a person have to say, it doesn't apply to all black men? We know that already! People can't take away what they have experienced and what they got out of their experience. Our experience (oftentimes) shape how we think... How we live... Sometimes shape our mindset. Yet, what was extremely horrible for you - could be the best thing in the world to someone else. You can't JUDGE people on their experiences and how they felt about the experience. That's retarded. Now, we have to learn to know that it was our experience and we can't judge a bad chapter, by the whole book. It is a coincidence that MOST black women you talk to from different social levels, different backgrounds, different personalities, different parts of the world - can share a lot of the same experiences regarding black men. But, I know (personally) some good black men that is worth every pain their mother went through in labor. lol... And then they get with some "crazy" black women that mess them straight up. We all need to clean our back yards. But, when you do... don't think that your yard is then better than mine. Which is what black men do.... They get a little education or money... And then black women ain't good enough.
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luvanurse says:Posted: 14 Nov 08
I will continue to stand by Jenn's comments because I believe them to be true. She did not state that all black men were bad. She is saying the same thing alot of black women say. It is so amazing how I hear the same things about black men everywhere. I am not saying that black women don't have their own issues, God knows we do. I just think Jenn has very valid points. It would be nice if the world was all rosy and sweet and everyone got along but we don't it is reality. THere are reasons whey black men and black women are at odds with each other and it's complicated. At least to me it is. Black women and black men have some things we need to work on. We need to be more respectful of each other,regardless of if we date or marry each other or someone of a different race. I know that I am in agreement with Jenn on all of her points, but I still have respect for most black men who show me respect. I am sure Jenn does as well.
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Tampa_Chris says:Posted: 14 Nov 08Amazing response Godlen_Brown. Couldn't have said it better. And to let all ya'll know I just got back from a lunch date with a beeeeaaautiful black woman and it was great. Made me actually think about this blog and how rediculous we all can be at times. I'm the first white cat she's been on a date with and she said she had one of the best times ever. I don't think it was my skin color that made her happy. I think it was my conversation and respect that made her happy.
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Golden_Brown says:Posted: 14 Nov 08
It's clear to me that a lot of people here have had negative experiences while dating in the past. To me, it is unfair to group and bash anyone based on their skin color. People keep saying "black men" this and "black women" that... Men and women act the way they act because of their upbringing and values, not the color of their skin. Those black men that are being spoken of so negatively were more than likely raised by black women. If a man is raised with certain values installed, he will be a good man rather he is black, blue, green or yellow. There are a number of great black men in the world, the negative ones are just usually more boastful. Just like the black community consists of more then just the hood. I'm sure Mr. Queens wouldn't want any man calling his black daughter a nappy headed sellout, because she decided to look past a man's skin color and date him based on their feelings for each other. In the same right, I'm sure that a number of the women on here that say negative things about "black men" would not want those things to be said about their black sons. I used to wonder why it was ok for White women to date black men and not get ridiculed, while Black women were thought of as disgraceful if they dated out of their race. Then I realized that white women had their moment. They went through being disowned and called dirty names, they just have come to a point of who cares! We as black women just need to get to our who cares point. Some people just have preferences. There are men who are 6'5 that wont date a women over 5'6, and vice versa. When you date outside your race to make a point, yeah...it's wrong. Some women just like a fair skinned man...oh well. I think it becomes a problem when you try to make negative assumptions about a man (of any race) based on his skin color. Everyone needs to stop! You would have to be a damn fool to let go of a good man or women, who treats you well, and cares about you...because you're too dumb to see past brown or pale skin.
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Member says:Posted: 14 Nov 08
I see everybody likes Jenn's commentary. It makes you feel good but there is no substance to it. She said some things that made me laugh. Then at the end it was "The reason this happens to black women". That is when I roll my eyes like here we go. "The reason this happens is because the black man.... etc" I thought "some" of Jenn's comments were thought provoking. She made me "think" about some things. Nevertheless, both parties bash back and forth. I read one your rebuttals on this board. You said this in all your anger and misinformation………………………… “Black men have said it themselves on countless occasions that they are intimidated by women who challenge them. As much as they beat their chests about being the head of the household (you would actually have to be responsible to do this but that’s another story) it is clear that they have problems with Black women earning more than them. Especially if she is proud of her successes and does not hide them, the way EVERY man and woman who has strived for higher education and had it pay off with a good job does. Hell as it stands, Black men don’t even like it if a woman wants to be treated as an equal in a relationship.” Let me see statistics show black men with degrees make more money than black women. Secondly, some black women want a man to be a head of the household. Despite their mantra about “Being a strong independent woman”. What happened to the “Strong Independent Black woman?” Her bills and student loans caught up to her ass. Now you implied black men will not treat a black woman equal in a relationship. I really don't understand that statement. We can treat you equal quite frankly. You can pay for your own meal. You can arrive to a date on your own without us picking you up. You can open the door for yourself. If that is the meaning of equality I am all for it. The problem is that you are self absorbed once you get your education you expect us to cater to that. I got my degree and I assure you I don't need to brag about my success all over the place. Now let me see what else you said that misinforms the public. “Something New had no monologue bashing Black men. You are a liar an sensitive just because the Black woman in the film was dating a white man. there was plenty of times where she made it a point to talk about how many good “brothas” there are out there. Much of her griping in the movie came from her being single and not wanting to be single, it had nothing to do with Black men. Quit your bellyaching you sensitive manboy.” Oh really I guess you never saw the beginning of the movie. I really do not know what to tell you my bitter nappy headed friend. She was walking around in the movie in the beginning trying to avoid black men. She met up with him in the café and was worried about what black people thought about her pathetic dating life. I really do not understand why sellout black women are so delusional. It is not so much the premises of the story. There is millions of single white, Asian, Latin women and they do not whine and do movies like this. Yet I constantly see your black ass with your busted weave crying about black men and forcing yourself on white men. This is deeply disturbing to me. (Taking hat off) Let us examine what else you said………………….. “And please. Black men choose to be single and Black women do not? Explain to me then about the legions upon legions of Black men on you tube, on forums, on talk shows, in magazines and movies, complaining about their lack of success with Black women because of Black women’s “choices”? Let me remind you, their words go something like “I can’t get a Black woman, wah wah wah they all want the thugs, wah wah wahhhh”. I suppose its because they’re just so delighted to have chosen to be single right? LOL. More delusions. Now let me get this right, you see black men complaining about their lack of success with black women. You must be on that white powder diet! You are sniffing that glue right now! I should not even address this. Seventy percent of you are overweight but we are having a lack of success with black women. What the HELL are you smoking. Black men overall date you oversized like a Mcdonald extra value meal. You know what, I blame myself for creating this monster. It is not even your fault. We should have let you make love to the fridge. We cannot get a black woman HAAAAAAAAAAAA (Shaking my head) You said some insightful things about your life. Like this……………………………. “We KNOW white men, latino men, and asian men express interest in us. We also know that the only person stopping a relationship going down between them and us, is us” So why so many of you are SINGLE? Mrs. Know it all I know maybe those men do not realize that you want them now after ignoring them so long. What you are saying is “Man look it’s kinda messed over here can I move in with you”. Then the other races of men “say sure girl just give me sex”. Now all of a sudden they are treating you right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your making me laugh so more but ok. The only people stopping you from them is "us". Yea and the other races of women. “As far as your last comment about mixed children, you have just shown to me that you are a true moron. I said out of all the mixed raced children the ones who’s mothers are raising their children on their own have Black fathers. That means the common denominator is YOU” No the common denominator is you because black men take care of their mixed children. Black women have more of their children in foster care. Black women are at the top of the list raising children alone across the board that includes men of other races. Then you made this excuse. “The only reason White women and other race women’s single motherhood rates are so low is because they primarily pair with white/non-Black men. Because Black women have to pair with Black men it is no wonder their single motherhood rates are so high. You all will shirk responsibility in a heartbeat, no matter the color of the woman. Although I must admit, a lot of you do tend to start to behave a little better when you get cho prize da purty white womun. Yessuh.” Here we go with "The only reason excuse" I thought you were independent who “forced you to pair with us”. Wait I know what you mean “other races of men” will choose you last so you are “forced to pair with us”. LOL The prize is the white woman. Where did that come from? You were doing well until you brought up white women. It will be all right get a backbone and start demanding more from white men after ignoring them so long. Put a sign up that says “Unhappy with black men please take me”. Good day
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luvanurse says:Posted: 14 Nov 08
YOu know Beauty I will keep him, you and your son in my prayers. I don't know why people turn to drugs for fun, support or whatever the choice may be. I have seen what happens to really successful people who decide to turn to drugs. I pray for them. As far as dating goes, you are right about alot of white guys seeking wives. I don't want to get serious about any guy until I move to Seattle. I am dating right now and the guys have all been pretty fun to hang out with,but I don't see the point of getting serious when I am moving away. As far as the hair pulling goes, it depends on what is going on, wink wink. I have not dated any hispanic guys. Lately it has been mostly white guys. I also have been attracting more blondes than brunettes. I love dark hair and green or blue eyes. I have not been asked out by any black guys lately, I'm not mad about though. lol. The guy I have been going out with lately has been so much fun, he is so funny and smart. I felt comfortable with him immediately. He is going to be hard to leave when I move away. I have a feeling we will continue to be great freinds. Good Luck in your dating world girlfriend.
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BeautyBeyondWords says:Posted: 14 Nov 08
The dating world is definitely something else. I've been dating quite a bit and it has its ups and downs. You know what I really like about white men and dating? White men are looking for a wife, most of the time. And they don't waste anytime. I admire that about them. They want responsibility. They want to be men. They want a family. Sometime, you could be shacking with a black man for 50yrs and he still might not marry you. lol...lol... I tell you, I do love our black men. I love the craziness in all races. It's funny.. how when you are dating white men and they are scared to touch your hair or something weird like that. A hispanic man/ black man will just pull it off. lol... or out... I am cool with my Ex's .... Me and my son's father is on the verge right now, though. Girl, the thought of ever allowing that man to get on top of me - scares me! lol..lol... He's a fine brother, now. He's thick. And his sex was OUTSTANDING! But, he got on drugs and it is starting to take a toll on everything about him. He was always a good father.... but, I am seeing him break bad. It is actually hurting me. He is a typical good brother gone bad. Hanging with the wrong people and doing the wrong things. I still try to allow him to see his son and spend supervised time with him. But, it is not working out. Keep him in your prayers!
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luvanurse says:Posted: 13 Nov 08
What's going on Beauty? How you been? The dating world is nuts. You know all my ex's have been dark skin too. My one ex favored Michael Jordan back whenhe was playing for the Bulls. We are still cool to this day. I ended up being cool with all my ex's.
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BeautyBeyondWords says:Posted: 13 Nov 08
I would probably have to agree on your post, too. It is definitely not all in our minds..... But, I will tell you this. I love dark/blue black men! I love them. Their skin is so beautiful to me and I have always loved the black in black people. All of my boyfriends, that were black (except for a few exceptions) were blue black. And I am a chocolate dark-skinned woman myself. My son is blue. lol..lol.. His daddy is blue...lol...lol.. My point is ... I am not some high yellow girl that can pass for white. I don't like in between too much. Either blue black or white..... lol... Hispanics and Light-skinned black men really don't turn me on, as much. There are exceptions, though. Believe that! You have some valid points. You really do. Hey luvanurse... What's up?
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luvanurse says:Posted: 12 Nov 08
Jenn I agree with every single last word you have written. I don't know how many blogs I have visited and black women who I have talked to who agree with you. So it cannot all be in our minds.
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jenn says:Posted: 12 Nov 08
@ BeautyBeyondWords Don't misunderstand me, I don't think ALL Black men are like that. But the majority? I would have to say yes. Not all of them are thugs and criminals, not all of them are hoes that think they are players, not all of them are liars and cheats or on the DL, not all of them are colorists that don't value typically Black features and dark skin, not all of them are chauvinists, and not all of them are abusive verbally towards Black women as a whole. But do the majority of them possess at least one or more of these traits? Hell yes! I have no other reason to believe otherwise. Especially the colorist trait. I can't think of one Black man that I know of who's ideal woman actually looks like a black woman, even when they are the Blackest looking things themselves. Actually, those are the ones who are the worst about their colorism. But really, all these things and negative traits in Black men disturbed me but didn't bother me to the extent that I had a problem with Black men in general. After all Black women are not perfect either, and in this racist society many of the negative traits we display have to do with our past. So by the time I figured out the majority of them carry these traits I didn't dislike them or anything, I just simply didn't limit myself to dating only them. What it was that caused my dislike is the vehement hate and lies they are now spreading about Black women on the internet and beyond. Considering their terrible statistics they have no room to talk and yet they complain about Black women the loudest and proudest and try to get the world to believe WE are the problem. The half of the race that is actually going to school and graduating and not murdering each other in the streets or leaving our responsibilities to our children to someone else. You have got to be a gutless coward to do something like that, to shift the attention from your shortcommings and make up the shortcommings of another group to draw attention away from your own. Especially as a man doing that to a woman. That is beyond weak. It really reflects their general character that they can throw Black women under the bus so easily after years and years of Black women remaining loyal to them and supporting them, even in the face of them being told they were less than other race of women by those same men they remained loyal to. THAT is what makes me say the things I say about Black men. If Black men were just filling out the lowest statistics in every category but weren't saying anything bad about Black women or pushing off their failures in the community on us, then I wouldn't have a problem. I'd simply go on about my business and date the men who I am more comfortable with the way I do now. But the fact that they are now lashing out at the people who stood beside them for so long, for longer than they even deserved, and attempting to degrade and destroy their name is sickening and makes me lose total respect for them as a group. I love the ones who are good just like I love good men, heck good people in general, but as a whole, I could care less about them as they have shown me my whole life they could care less about my group (Black women) or really any other group besides themselves. Sorry for the long post, just had to get that out because people might read my posts and think I'm bitter after bad personal experiences when its not that. Its the cowardly tactics of bashing and attacks that they use on Black women now that disgusts me.
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BeautyBeyondWords says:Posted: 12 Nov 08
Jenn, I do get where you are coming from. I think you make some good points and from "some" experiences with black men- very valid points. I've experienced both sides. As black women, I have been with those same black men, you are talking about. Unfortunately, I do see a lot of what you are talking about. Of course, it is not all black man and probably not majority of them. I think you are a good match for Mr. Laurelton. lol... He can't handle you - Boo. lol.... He likes to degrade black women, but can't handle too much himself. I do feel some of your comments, though.
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jenn says:Posted: 12 Nov 08
@ Tampa_Chris Yes its from Jay-Z lol. I don't remember what song its from, but me and my friends started using it as a saying in everyday life once we heard it awhile back.
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jenn says:Posted: 12 Nov 08
Dear whatshisface, Black men have said it themselves on countless occasions that they are intimidated by women who challenge them. As much as they beat their chests about being the head of the household (you would actually have to be responsible to do this but that's another story) it is clear that they have problems with Black women earning more than them. Especially if she is proud of her successes and does not hide them, the way EVERY man and woman who has strived for higher education and had it pay off with a good job does. Hell as it stands, Black men don't even like it if a woman wants to be treated as an equal in a relationship. Something New had no monologue bashing Black men. You are a liar an sensitive just because the Black woman in the film was dating a white man. there was plenty of times where she made it a point to talk about how many good "brothas" there are out there. Much of her griping in the movie came from her being single and not wanting to be single, it had nothing to do with Black men. Quit your bellyaching you sensitive manboy. And please. Black men choose to be single and Black women do not? Explain to me then about the legions upon legions of Black men on you tube, on forums, on talk shows, in magazines and movies, complaining about their lack of success with Black women because of Black women's "choices"? Let me remind you, their words go something like "I can't get a Black woman, wah wah wah they all want the thugs, wah wah wahhhh". I suppose its because they're just so delighted to have chosen to be single right? LOL. More delusions. Nobody is choosing anyone over anyone. Black women have been actively making themselves unavailable to other races of men. As a woman I can tell you 100% factually that there was never a time in my life where I wasn't approached by all types of men but there was a time when I didn't open up my options towards them. Nothing about your rhetoric is new. You attempt to make white men/non-Black men look like they are the ones who are bad for Black women, but then when it become so obviously clearly the true predators who do the most harm to Black women are Black men, you switch to the old rheotric that "no one wants you anyway they like the others better" yet again to silence Black women and keep them chained to you. It doesn't work because newsflash, Black women actually live in reality to. We KNOW white men, latino men, and asian men express interest in us. We also know that the only person stopping a relationship going down between them and us, is us. As far as your last comment about mixed children, you have just shown to me that you are a true moron. I said out of all the mixed raced children the ones who's mothers are raising their children on their own have Black fathers. That means the common denominator is YOU. Whether you are with a Black woman or a white woman or a Latino women you are prone to leave them hanging and abandon your flesh and blood. Cowardly and gutless to the fullest. The only reason White women and other race women's single motherhood rates are so low is because they primarily pair with white/non-Black men. Because Black women have to pair with Black men it is no wonder their single motherhood rates are so high. You all will shirk responsibility in a heartbeat, no matter the color of the woman. Although I must admit, a lot of you do tend to start to behave a little better when you get cho prize da purty white womun. Yessuh. You're an idiot.
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Tampa_Chris says:Posted: 11 Nov 08
Jenn, I hope your "we don't believe you, you need more people" is a JayZ quote cuz that ish is funny as hell.
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Roskolnikov says:Posted: 11 Nov 08
Can you two please, shut up. This kind of behavior is exactly what I was referring to in my post. You both epitomize the self loathing and back biting that fosters the divide within our race. We are individuals and should treat each other as such. Laurelton your denigrating comments about black women do nothing to encourage them to date us and could possibly serve as a warning to women of other races who might consider dating black men. Jenn, your vitriol is the lament of a woman who has clearly had some unpleasant experiences with Black men. I don't know if either of you have traveled much but let me give you the benefit of my years spent abroad. Collectively dark skinned people are the least respected group on the planet. You might want to consider that with the multitudes of people out there that hold an irrational animus against us the last thing we should be engaging in is juvenile disparagements our brethren.
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Member says:Posted: 11 Nov 08
Dear Jenn It is amazing how you see into the soul of black men. Since I am a black man and I know how I feel about certain subjects. Let me repeat, nobody, at least in my immediate circle care if your a professional black woman. You keep sending those false messages out to the media about black men being "intimidated" by successful black women lol. You can ask any black man and he would laugh at you. Secondly the statistics of "men" in general being single is high. Black men either choose to be single or at times are with "more than one woman". I will not deny that at all. Now black women who are single. A majority of them would like a serious relationship but are not getting that. So out of their bitterness they go on Oprah and say all black men are on the "down low". I can't recall a gay man hiding his sexual identity and a woman not figuring it out. But you black women find a way to make that happen. Then cry on Oprah talking about I was "fooled". Now your comparing Jungle Fever to Something New. Jungle Fever never bashed black women. Wesly Snipes was fucking a white woman from his job and got caught. I never heard a monologue in the beginning of Jungle Fever about black women like I heard in "Something New" about black men. Didn't Sanaa Lathan character had illusions of black men following her everywhere in "Something New????????????????? Come to think of it, I never Saw Wesly Snipes character running back and forth to two women. When he got caught by his Black wife she kicked his ass out! Sanaa Lathan was with Blair Underwood (getting it on with him). Then she runs back to the white boy and says 'sorry" then it was happy ever after. LOL Man she could ONLY do that to a white boy. I would have fucked her and sent her ass back to her black boyfriend. Then again I have vindictive streak. Then you say we bash you so discourage other races of men from seeing you lol. Are you serious???????????? It could never be the fact White men choose White women, Asian women and Latin women over you. They pick you dead last and that is our fault lol. You said it yourself there is more black women for black men. Why would it burn me? I got plenty of women to choose from within my own race. Perhaps it burns you up that you are picked dead last. As for mixed children being raised by their mothers only. Black women top the list. So what are you saying? Black men continue to be married at a higher rate than black women when it comes to interracial dating. You can't even get a white man to put a ring on your finger. The single mother rate in the black community is not just the result of black men. There is latin and white men leaving you to raise a kid alone. Black women have the HIGHEST out of wedlock birth rate in the US disproportionate to their population. Are you married, I know the answer. You are not. Good day.
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jenn says:Posted: 11 Nov 08
70% of Black women are single for the same reason that 63% of Black men are single (which you delusional Black men like to ignore). And that amount of Black men is single DESPITE black women outnumbering them 4 to 1 and races tending to marry within their own. You see, those stats that you Black women haters tote with such glee in order to make us look bad actually make you look worse. Statistically, considering the shortage of Black men in comparison to Black women in mere number (and this isn't even counting sexual orientation and mere incompatibility that happens between different men and different women that would make a dating pool even smaller) it makes sense why so many Black women are single. For Black men on the other hand, it doesn't. Lol @ Black men not whining about dating in movies. Jungle Fever anyone? You Black men created and are the epitome of whining in movies AND in music (complaining about being used for money by the same hoes and player women that you chase and ignore good women for). And contrary to popular belief, most black magazines encourage Black women to date nothing but black, which is why so many of them are sitting around holding out hope for Black men (who know they have the number advantage within the community) to decide to settle down and not screw everything around them that is moving. And ahhh I knew the truth would finally come out. The truth is, Black men are doing all this open bashing of Black women because they HOPE their efforts discourage other races of men from seeing Black women as partners and thus trapping Black women with Black men forever. Unfortunately for you guys, your plan doesn't work, because no other race of men in their right mind can look at the stats for Black men in education, employment, criminal behavior, etc. compare them to those of Black women and deduce black women as the problem. They KNOW you're whining is simply the same blame shifting you've done for so long and they aren't being ran away by your words the way you hope lol. Just look at this site for instance. None of these white or latino or Asian men are worried about the lies Black men are spreading, they are still on the hunt for Black women for long term partnerships. As far as white men coming to Black women's defense, they do so on the internet more than Black men that's for damn sure. Consider the posts in this blog for instance. Count how many white men and non-Black men have come in praising Black women? Then count how many of your ilk has come in calling everybody all kinds of coons and sell outs? LOL. I rest my case. You are indeed delusional, and just like most delusional Black men you ignore the horrid treatment of Black men towards Black women and make it seem as if you all are the victims (yeah right) or that some other men are the predators on Black women. Nope, we don't believe you, you need more people. And yeah, you do realize that the educated Black women are the ones who date out the most. It burns you up inside I can tell. Here's a fun fact for the road though. Many Black men claim that Black women are loose (kind of the way you did in your rant there) and put single motherhood as a mark on their record and a testament to their being "loose". Here's the fun fact though, out of all mixed race children, the ones who are being raised by a single mother over 75% of the time have a Black "father". LOL. What a common denominator. So the question is: is it the Black woman being "loose" by having these babies out of wedlock, or is it the Black man playing his same role of dodging and ducking responsibility and leaving it for someone else? And yeah you are out. Out of your damn mind LOL.
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Member says:Posted: 11 Nov 08
Dear Jenn I never heard of blackmenvent.com. I might check it out since I am always interested in boards with opinions regardless of the topic. Now you claim I am lying when statistics point to so many black women being single. I figure your going to say black men caused that right. If interracial dating was so great why are 70 percent of you single. That would mean white men are not going out of their way to date you. That is just statistics. I don't need to make up anything. You said I "represent" all the black men born and raised in America. That is funny, black men are a diverse group. Most of us do not give a damn about who you date. See we don't do movies whining about dating (Something New). We are not on CNN ( To be Negro in America) talking about we can't find a good black woman to date. We are not on that failing magazine Essence ( Going out of business I cry for them) with articles about "Can White Jesus help me pay my bills". There is legions of black women venting via other media outlets. Now when the black man defends himself and it "ruins" your "stock" for other races of men that is when you "lash out". Some nappy headed black girl said in a Town Forum I went to recently that "Black men" make me look bad in front of the White men. Right we make you wear tight clothes and have your breasts spilling out of your bra. Yea that is us making you look bad!!! Everybody laughed when I made that comment. Then you mention Michelle Obama "type black women" who date out the most. Actually I would have to disagree. Aside from the drama here I have never had a problem with educated professional black women (Their open minded). It is unfortunate they can't find a mate to their liking. Me personally, I have never had a problem with them. The only issue with Professional black women is there controlling and there needy. Even white guys have said this.( The emasculated white men will NEVER EVER say their dislikes about black women) As time goes on the only people promoting being with you is "yourselves"! I really never see blogs with white men saying " I am going to the housing projects to meet my Queen". I see more websites with white men doing pornography with black women. Then I say blogs with White guys "praising black women. It is kind of sad that you put a 100 percent into pushing "yourselves on white men" but they never really defend you. They never say I will move into the black community to date you. I will do it what it takes. You are basically on the frontline getting the brunt of ridicule and debates. All the white boy does is sit back. Personally I think there is something wrong with that. If the shoe was on the other foot. I would go all out for my woman period. I would be at every debate and respond to every comment. At the end of the day you "give up" everything and what do you get in return? I rarely see black women married to white men. If they do get married they divorce within four years. BW/WM pairings have the highest divorce rate. That never gets talked about but yet I am the "bad guy". You know what go to bed and eat your ice cream. Next thing your going to tell me is that you go the gym everyday and went to an Ivy League College and your a model. You got all the white men chasing you. They call me delusional lol. Sellout black women are delusional. They make up shit then they convince themselves "life is really like that". I am out
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Dear Naturally I think you made excellent points. I will admit I am a bit on the "extreme side" when it comes to this issue. But I strongly feel this way. I have softened my stand on some things concerning this issue. I want black women to have a successful relationship with men viable for them. The assumption is that I don't want black women to date white men. I think black women are taking a serious chance when they do it. As I stated before they are picked last by white men and in my experience working in the corporate world and other places throughout the years that happens to be the case. It is unfortunate that this gets loss in the heated arguments I have with some sellout black girls. They know this is true but they continue to be "optimistic." You have to admire black women for trying as hard as they do. Some black women agree with me passionately and some disagree with me passionately. I am happy you are with an Italian man that loves you. That is a sincere statement because MOST black women never get that. I just have a problem when sellout black girls put white men on pedestal and get disappointed. Their the same ones running back to black men talking about 'Yea I dated one white guy", then the story trails off like they don't want to talk about what happened. As for Evia and her followers, Evia does not advocate for black women with her homely white man Darren. She wants to make money so she sells these essays and ebooks. Profiting off the misery of black women. Evia is the worst type of black woman. They will hold their nose up at other black people because they have a "trophy white husband", then preach to you on how to get a white man like she did. The problem with that is every black woman is an individual. I can admire Evia for building a fan base and a "theory" that is built off bashing black men but as a person she is a vulture. Race preservation, there is really no such thing. If a black woman has a baby with a white man that child is black. For all purposes the thing that sellout black women are running away from will be in their womb regardless of the "other race of men." Most biracial kids when they get older more identify with being black. I have had my share of biracial girls and I am dark skin. I ask them why do you like Dark skin black men? Some can't really say or they say I am attracted to that. Evia's theory is real silly to me. Evia believes all black women should live in the white community and never date black men. As if you will ever stop us from getting women. Anyway good day to you and I hope your relationship works out. http://mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/