Why some Black women only date White Men
We always talk about Black women and how they can’t date White men. Well, there are those black women that only date White men. I remember a pal of mine telling me once that she will never get married to Black man. And even as kids, when playing make believe, she was always married to a White guy.
The reason for women like her who only date white men may be very similar to the reasons why most Black women only date Black men … attraction. Some also feel that Black men treat them better than any other man ever could, and they feel that they'd rather have what they know instead of experimenting with what they don’t know.
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Some Black women are just not physically attracted to Black men. And as much as parents usually like hooking us up with people of our own race, well it reaches a time when you have to be honest with yourself. Imagine my pal for example: As a child, her first crush was Adam Sandler, then as she got older, she fell in love with Mel Gibson. This doesn’t mean that Black men aren’t handsome – they are just not her type.
Some also feel that White men (not ALL but many) find black women to be remarkable in every sense of the word; hence Black women tend to gravitate towards those affections. Much as her husband treats her better than any man ever had, one lady admits that she has been with some White men that disgusted her with their behaviors. But she says that generally, older White men and very mature on a broader level than with Black men on many levels.
Some are just wildly turned on by the differences … skin color, hair, being raised in different cultures, music, foods … the list is endless. Its all about the desire for the mysterious and unknown. And for some, its just pure love because there are those that forget that we are ‘black’ and ‘white’ and just coincidentally happened to fall in love with a White guys.
One thing we all have to remember is that not every White man is a Black woman’s dream. It all depends on the individual … good and bad comes in all colors.
With that said, the generic phrase - ‘It should be about love and not color’ – is cute. But in this case, not entirely truthful. Its not only about love. Much as love gets cultivated eventually, there is physical attraction and a declaration to date only one race. Racist or preference?
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1841 responses to "Why some Black women only date White Men"
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dcnot says:Posted: 23 Aug 08
will ppl stop saying half white half black u have more than a 99% chance of not being half of either the majority of americans r mixed racially.
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Member says:Posted: 22 Aug 08
Trust me don't flatter yourself I would not be interested in you. Especially from a woman that does not like the fact that she is half-black. You mention vocabulary. " labelling them as “trying to be white”. Jesus no wonder you need a white man to help you spell. It is LABELING. "Being adopted and not knowing my birth family also influences my decision to date only white men. Who wants to find out they’re dating their dad?! Being adopted is a passive voice and the question mark should be exclamation point ! It is Mr Laurelton Queens by the way. I suggest you embrace an English class. I have a B.S Degree in Criminology/Sociology; I do not understand what "acting white" means. Listen go date your white men do not say anything because you are dumb as a rock! Just stand by him and look pretty. I hope he will increase your vocabulary. Good day
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bitchKitty says:Posted: 22 Aug 08
If there were ever a concrete reason for me to NEVER date a black man, I think this "mr laurelton queens" is the poster child. I am a mixed race woman (not black, asshole) and I have never and will never date a black man simply because they act as though they are entitled to accost me because I have a black grandparent. From my experience, white men have better vocabularies, tend to embrace education and intellectual pursuits and honestly, have brighter futures than many black men. Yes, the lack of opportunities for blacks does factor in, but there is also a LOT of "self-policing" in minority communities, i.e. trying to keep those down who desire education and labelling them as "trying to be white". Being adopted and not knowing my birth family also influences my decision to date only white men. Who wants to find out they're dating their dad?!
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Member says:Posted: 22 Aug 08
Let me get this right DJTEEEL You are not "comfortable with the black culture", what exactly is the black culture? You made it race issue when you mouthed off about black women. If you want to stay in your race and be pro white go to Stormfront white nationalists website. Your a liar you do hate black people. You "prefer" to hang out with whites". What exactly is "white" you have Italians , Jews are they considered "White". This is an interracial forum where people either disagree or agree with interracial dating. I fall on the side of disagreeing with it because you will sucker some poor black girl for sex and she will think the white skin will rescue her from her circumstances. I wish I knew what state you were because I would make feel real uncomfortable because I am dark black man. You want to hang out with your race go to Idaho or Utah and stay there! I am from New York City come ride the train among different races and cry I am uncomfortable like a little baby! This guy got some nerve
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DJTEEL says:Posted: 22 Aug 08
you people are just looking for an argument.it wouldn't matter why a white man dates solely within is own race,many of you are just want to argue and will turn it in to a race issue.personally,i'm not comfortable with the black culture. and please don't give me that crap that they don't have a 'culture' diffrernt than any other. i don't hate blacks.i just prefer to hang with whites.get over it peeps!!
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DJTEEL says:Posted: 22 Aug 08
you people are just looking for an argument.it wouldn't matter why a white man dates solely within is own race,many of you are just want to argue and will turn it in to a race issue.personally,i'm not comfortable with the black culture. and please don't give me that crap that hy don't have a 'culture' diffrernt than any other. i don't hate blacks.i just prefer to hang with whites.get over it peeps!!
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Member says:Posted: 21 Aug 08
Now this is what bothers me. She asked DJTEEL "Why can't you just love me". Essentially he said he does not want you black women because you listen to black music and you talk black. Just to much blackness going around! Yet you continue to look for validation from him. Then you say " some of you black men", some of you black men?????? You ask us what is the definition of a sellout. You claim you do not care but you took time out of your day to ask. A sellout is a person like you, that will bash your own race of men and kiss white men like DJTEEL butt cheeks for validation. It is always "well you haven't enough black women", or my classic favorite every sellout black girl claim she is attractive. I have yet to hear one of them say their average. It's always white men chase me down I got to beat them off with a stick! Black men don't date outside their race permanently. A small percent do but your too busy begging for attention from white men. I was reading one of those sellout black women blogs to amuse myself at work. One of the sellout black girls reprimanded the other girls. She said "several hosts of interracial mixers" have complained that some of you are fat and unappealingly I do not know if you come to the mixers like this on purpose". I was like yooooo did they just say that to EACH OTHER. After I spilled my drink laughing. The author of the blog Evia, the sellout blog black girls know this woman because they worship her. Evia decided to BLAME THEM for not looking good enough for white men! This is how twisted and sick interracial dating has become for black women. I never see white women doing this to each other. I never hear white woman say to another white woman " Girl lose that weight for black men". People is laughing but I kid you not this is how bad the situation has become. For the record I got no problem dating black women none. But if your going to come out and tear black men down then it is out of my hands after that. That makes you a sellout !
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dcnot says:Posted: 21 Aug 08
also rock n roll is a black music form so u still r listening 2 black music jus now it is predominiantly sung by whites.
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dcnot says:Posted: 21 Aug 08
2 me ur a sell out when u use copouts like this race is more emotionally this and tht. tht is bs everybody is simliar 2 an extent but never the same w/e u find with 1 u can find with another. 4 a man or woman 2 only date outside of there race is being a sellout becuz ur saying u dont find ur race(which means u 2) attractive. nothing wrong with interracial but like i stated b4 if every person n every minority married a white person there would still b 100 million+ whites left over ( there would still b minority's but the minority's(would b mixed ppl now,the majority of americans r already mixed but now it would really b mixed) would b even more mixed then wht they already r so there wouldnt b black asian etc there would b black/asian mix, asian white mix,etc
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pookie says:Posted: 21 Aug 08
As I read through these responses I see that we are back to square one. Why do you keep allowing these stereotypes interfere with who you date? I am so tired of seeing that all black women are loud and obnoxious. I am a black woman and all I listen to is rock and alternative. I am so far from loud and obnoxious but yet I am thrown into this generalization of ALL black women. DJTEEL: Obviously what your saying comes from experiences. exactly how many black women did you date? And why would you let that determine your position with black women. I have had my share of bad experiences with my own race. Similar to the problms you had as far as music and actions in public. And trust me there were alot.... But I didnt let that stop me from dating black men completley, it did limit it a bit more though.. And to SOME of you black men: Why are black women sell outs if they only date outside of their race???? Not that it's a issue with me because I could really care less but I don't see a problem with Black men dating outside of their race permanantley so why should it be a issue with the women. just help me understand what qualifies a black woman as a "sell out" in your opinion
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Member says:Posted: 16 Aug 08
So DJTEEL He says the reason he stays in his race because black women are loud and obnoxious and that he hates rap and r&b. I don't see any sellout black girls saying anything and why am I not surprised. But when a black man like me points this out I am considered the bad guy. I don't mind being the bad guy as long as I am right. Everybody is entitled to their opinion. But see I date within in my race and I have nothing negative to say about white women. But see that is the fundamental problem with sellout black women they would be crying to sleep over DJTEEL statement about his preference. There is no affirmative action when it comes to dating so I don't know why desperate black women continue to brow beat white men to date them because their "so picky" about the black men they date. Just imagine a black man saying what DJTEEL said which in some cases is "very true" and I have dated black women my whole life. That is why I laugh when they say black men is losing black women in the dating game. LOL Listen I am in the hood all the time, I want white men to go date them and see why black men have to keep their foot on the black woman's neck. Yea they can fool you on blogs but when your dealing with black women on a personal level it is a different story. That is why it never bothers me when they make slick comments on the internet about black men. Because off the computer it is a different story. A matter of fact most sellout black women DEAL with black men on a daily basis. They can lie to white men here but I know the truth. What up Tampa Chris how you feeling homey? http://mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/
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Angiebaby says:Posted: 16 Aug 08
"this relationship just didn't work out"......sounds like your character judgement needs tweaking......
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DJTEEL says:Posted: 15 Aug 08
I don't even like discussing this topic ANywhere anyTIME..i stick with my own race for two reasons. dating black women,i've found that of course they tend to have black friends.loud in restaurants and aggresive.i couldn't even go into a public place without them becoming loud not caring who overherard them. also,considering the fact i absolutely despise rap hip hop and r&b and the current black music of the day,this relationship just didn't work out.give me somebody calm,soft spoken and without the desire to hang out all hours of the night somewhere. maybe it's an old school belief but 1 and 2am is for sleep,not for hangin' out.
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DadsLilGirl says:Posted: 15 Aug 08
Interesting, Mr Laurelton Queens...very interesting. Well, good luck with your personal blog. I won't be visiting. Not my kind of thing. Sorry. Well, this discussion is just a simple reminder that everyone is entitled to their opinions and everyone's entitled to disagree. Debate on, my people. May you all be at peace with your views. :)
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Tampa_Chris says:Posted: 14 Aug 08I do have to say I picked dating black women first not last, but you guys made this debate a lot more interesting with the questions.
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Member says:Posted: 14 Aug 08
Dear DadsLilGirl I am not on this board to date anybody. I just find the debate and blog interesting. There seems to be more freedom of speech here compared to other "sellout black women blogs" that I am an avid reader of. As for my personal life yes I have met sellout black women in the "closet". They seem to reluctant to tell black men like "sometimes" that they have been with white men. In some cases some say their are searching for a white man to date but seem focused on black men with "white women. As for me dating outside my race, I doubt that will ever happen and nor would I do it to "spite black women" like they do to use by using white men. As for attracting black women that "agree" with my commentary. I don't need to attract black women, I am the new "breed of black man". I really think black women sometimes underestimate Professional black men. We adapt to the way black women feel, in real life you wouldn't know how I feel. In real life you would have no idea my "opinions" on issues. Black women think because we comment negatively on interracial dating we feel "threatened". We are not threatened at all. You just have to "protect" your interests that's all. I will give you an analogy I was watching MSNBC lockup. The whites, blacks and latins have their own gang. The guy says " We are like countries sometimes we go to war". It is very much similar to my mentality and some black men. Protecting your interests includes women in your own race. There is a reason black women is the last race of women to date outside of their race. Since you asked me a question. Let me ask you this how does it feel "other races of men" pick you last to date? Yet black men desire you "First". Your post was interesting I think I am going to write about it on my blog because you made me think hard. http://mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/
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DadsLilGirl says:Posted: 14 Aug 08
Dear Mr Laurelton Queens: This is an interesting debate, but I'm confused. Are you a black man on an interracial dating site trying to date black women that you deem as sellouts? Are you a black man on an interracial dating site interested in dating outside your race but feels the need to slam black women to justify your choice? Are you a black man on an interracial dating site looking for a black woman that's attracted to your "black women are sellout" compliments. I'm confused!
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cheygirl6 says:Posted: 13 Aug 08
Thanks, Pookie. As for this debate.....ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
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pookie11593 says:Posted: 13 Aug 08
Hey Cheygirl6 I just have to give you kiddos on your comment.
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Member says:Posted: 13 Aug 08
Dear Cheygirl It seems like your the one that is bitter and angry. You mention the obstacles you go through at your profession and all this "feminist" whining. I am the most content man you will meet. You said "yourself" that white men have been racist to you. Yet you are on an interracial board like I am worrying about my comments. I welcome that but I realize I am on an "interracial board". You said your addressing my anger with "anger" of your own which makes perfect sense to me. But that is to assume I am angry in the first place. Then you said in certain situations a "man should be stronger than a woman". I really do not know what you mean by that. You want to be treated equal at the workplace but can admit men "are stronger than you" in certain situations. As for social injustices, I do not get political here I talk about interracial dating and "what is wrong with this idea". I don't care about black militants, I don't care much for politics, I am not here to be "pro black" even though I am a black man. I don't need to defend my honor because I have never been a sellout. I got the integrity to date black women within my own race. While others bash their "OWN" race of men to justify dating inter racially. Tell sellout black women to grow a "pair" when you can't find a man within your own race. Then choose white men as 'second place" to resolve your dating desperation. Because in the end that is all it is. I would hate to be "second choice" PERIOD!
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cheygirl6 says:Posted: 13 Aug 08
I love the fact that I am a mechanic. I took on a job that the average woman wouldn't even dream of doing. My issue with you is NOT the topic in which you're angry about but the fact that you are so bitter and insulting as a result of it. I'm addressing your anger not the issue of interracial dating. It's the BITTERNESS AND ANGER I have a problem with. The topic in which you're complaining about is rather stale and corny....WE'VE ALL HEARD IT BEFORE! The guys at work, yes they suck; they have a problem with me because they have a problem with themselves first. They bitch and moan all day long just as you are and I hate to see men behaving this way especially when I as a woman AND a black person have twice as much predjudice to cope with in this world but it's always the men(of all races) complaining about some social injustice towards them. In certain situations I feel that a man should be stronger than a woman. When I see otherwise it's very disappointing. "Grow a pair" meaning that you need to focus your energy on coping with your issues. Your insulting comments makes your integrity and maturity questionable. Defend your honor as a MAN first by acting like one THEN you can defend your honor as a "good BLACK man" second.
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Member says:Posted: 12 Aug 08
Dear Cheygirl I assure you before I worked in the "IT" Field I was working in a Sears inventory and various other tough fields I was even a bus driver and taxi driver for awhile. I did what I had to do, I really don't know what that has to do with interracial dating. As for the Nappy head comment , Imus was agreeing with Bernie (his sidekick said that comment). Then he said it was a word he heard in the black community. Considering Imus "sidekick" said he grew up in the "hood" with other races which includes black women. Why is it a shock when that word is said? But yet your outraged by me saying it. Secondly you say I am bitter or self loathing. I think that you have a personal problem with the men around you that don't respect what you do so your taking it out on me. The finger nail comment and all these things as if to say " I am a woman" look at what I am going through just to do this job. I respect what you do, but you don't respect what I do. "Growing a pair" is when you think for yourself and not like how everybody else thinks in society. If we all thought alike, you wouldn't be working as a mechanic among men now would you? You said you have suffered prejudice and sexism at work. Yet you want to date white men but your upset at me. Girl wash the grease out of your hair and get a clue. Good day to you
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cheygirl6 says:Posted: 12 Aug 08
MR. LAURELTON!!!................................. Blue collar men ARE HOT!! I'm a blue collar gal myself. I'm a bus mechanic. Seems that a lot of women don't go for that anymore these days. What happened to "I love a man in uniform!"? Mr Laurelton? Sounds like you're the only bitter one here. You feel as if you're bashed by black women or whoever? Well suck it the f*ck up! Quit your self loathing. If you know that the negative connatations don't apply to you then get over! As I've mentioned, I'm a bus mechanic. Yes, a bus mechanic!! I work side by side with big husky men all day... the first and ONLY women in this garage.I pull engines,transmissions front and rear axles out of these 12,000 lbs vehicles for a living. This job takes a lot of physical and mental fortitude. I break nails, bust knuckles, get covered in grease and dirt all day just as they do and despite being a great mechanic, my abilties are ALWAYS second guessed simply because I'm a female. I'm like a side show at work. If they're not starring at my a**,they're questioning my abilities as a mechanic, if not that,they're gossiping about who's gonna be the first guy who'd get to "hit it". I'm subjected to a bunch of loud cursing, the guys spreading rumors that they went out with me, the aleination(I'm a mechanic but I'm not "one of the guys")the jealous attitudes because I can do my job just as well as they can. They are all waiting to see me fail. I wear my pink nail polish when I go to work to pronounce the fact that I AM FEMALE AND I CAN STILL DO MY JOB!!! It's a blow to their male egos and they let me know in so many ways that they don't like it!!...EVERYDAY!!! My point to you, Mr. Laurelton is if I can suck this all up and still MAINTAIN my dignity and femininity then you too need to suck it up and maintain your integrity and manhood. QUIT YOUR B*THCHIN! and stop slinging mud.."sell out black women" , Nappy head". One thing I can't stand is a whiny, self loathing man OF ANY RACE!! I have to suck up the predjudice as a black person AND a woman both AT WORK AND in society in general. But I hold my head up and prevail while maintaining my integrity. Oddly enough it's the guys at work who complain when they have to do extra work.lol despit all that i go through at work, you will never hear them say that i complain or that I try to get them to do my work. Ironically, they hate that too! GROW A PAIR!!!
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Member says:Posted: 11 Aug 08
Dear Potential sellout black women. There is no limited pool, it is limited when you want to date a rich man. Their are plenty of blue collar black man that work hard everyday. Instead your so self absorbed in your lives and career that you make blanket statements alluding to a black male shortage. The simple fact is you do not put yourself in a position to meet these men. Instead you feel the white man will come down and sweep you off your feet like the white washed "lifetime" special you constantly watch all the time. It does not matter who you date if your think men are supposed to worship you just because you have a degree than your dating experience is going to continue to be tough. Stop watching television and the media there is plenty of black men to date. These bitter lonely sellout black women are promoting this failed agenda.
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Ms.Tingle says:Posted: 11 Aug 08
I have never dated white men before, but lately I have realized that I have been limiting myself by being a little close minded, so I am open to all races including white men who I have often found attractive but did nothing about it. I do have friends who are wealthy black professionals who feel that the pool of men is limited in their social circles to just white men.
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dcnot says:Posted: 09 Aug 08
i meant 2say with men it is viewed as taboo but exceptable with women it is viewed as taboo and unacceptable
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dcnot says:Posted: 09 Aug 08
1 more thing it has always been taboo for ppl 2 date outside there ethni or racial group the only difference is with men its taboo but exceptable with women it is taboo and unexceptable. alot of blck men dont like black women dating white men becuz they want things like white men used 2 have it back n the white men would have a white wife but would have girlfriends on the side who were different races a lot of black men want tht they want there ice cream and cake 2.
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dcnot says:Posted: 08 Aug 08
also u have black white asian hispanics and latinos there is a difference hispanic and latino r not interchangeable if u speak spanish u r hispanic and latino. if u speak ne other language i mentioned ur just latino
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dcnot says:Posted: 08 Aug 08
first off im not ab 2 write this like a term paper and im saying tht cuz on some forums ppl like 2 talk shit when u dont speak like this "I saw a dog, it was beautiful." meaning all proper this is the internet so i am lazy when i type... sorry 4 the rant. im a black man and i think there is nothing wrong with interracial but it depends like it is one thing 2 happen 2 b dating some1 of another race its another 2 go looking 4 another race. i feel ppl like 2 use alot of cop outs like u will have a black man/woman say i dont find black men/women attractive which mean u dont find urself attractive due 2 the fact tht ur apart of tht race whether u like it or not. i also hate ppl tht use the i grew up around blank mostly thts y i find them attractiv, tht is bs i went 2 majority white catholic private schools all but 1 year (my senior year of high school) and i have a lot of white friends tht dont mean i dont want 2 date a strong black woman. ppl like 2 use the word preference like some sort of shield a lot of times ur preference should b attractive ppl not white,black w/e else. im not 1 of those black men tht bring up slavery 4 everything but this is 1 of the cases i have 2 white ppl r seen as the most attractive 4 the most part due 2 colonialism and conquering other ppl causing a superiority complex and inferior complex amongst ppl which still carries on 2day. ex: notice lighter is considered the right thing 2 date especially places where whites conquered. im a lightskinned 19 year old black man and i think 1 of the key reasons the black race is so attractive is due 2 the way color varies. i remember reading a article ab rapper young berg saying he dont date women darker than him (some call tht preference i call it cop out) he called darker black women dark butts which is highly offensive. i also hate the whole proffesional man/woman cop out ppl use its 1 thing 2 not date underachievers its another 2 date some1 based solely on whether there on ur financial level. dont get me wrong i want a black woman(tht dont mean i wont marry others but i feel u should b content with ur own race) with degrees becuz i plan on having degrees n my life but tht dont mean i wont marry a black woman who bust her ass at a blue collar job.also another thing ppl dont seem 2 realize is interracial couples effect blacks more and minority's more than whites due 2 population size. if ever person n every minority married a white person there would still b 100 million+ whites n th US left over but no more minioritys. 2nd off i hate the term mixed becuz most americans white black etc r mixed the white slaveowner great great w/e grandad of mine had a white wife and family 2 which would b distant cousins. n the US the term mixed gets used wrong like this 4 ex: ppl tht say they r half white half black 1 of 3 things is true ab this statement 1. u r half white genetically but ur not half black genetically 2. u r half black genetically but u r not half white genetically 3. ur neither half white or black and have something else n u. 95 % of black americans r mixed racially the other 5% r mixed ethnically like differnet tribes from africa. 2 different articles i read said significant amounts of whites have black blood (means they r black by one drop rule definition) 1 article said 1/3 of white americans have black ancestry 2 some degree the 2nd article said 50million+ whites have black blood 2 some extent. the US has hella problems with race and ethnicity tht will not b solved ne time soon (interracial dating will neither hurt tis or help this) like black americans (not the mono racial group from africa which r not all black as hell like the media potrays amny r lightskinned and have no admixture whatsoever) r still the biggest ethnic group n the US despite wht the media potrays. latino is a bs ethnic group becuz ethincity deals with ur country u come from so technically we're all american but if u did want 2 use ethnicity 2 differentiate groups then latino is still not a country colombian american and venezuelan american r ethnic gropus not latino. also latino gets used incorrectly if it were used right latinos would b the majority n the US nopt white ppl. a latino is ne1 who speaks (or has decent) a romantic language a romantic language is ne language derived from latin, if u speak molodivian, french, spanish, italian, romanian, or portuguese u r latino. im sorry 4 the rant but i felt like this was a good issue 2 bring up problems tht deal with race period.
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virgo66 says:Posted: 08 Aug 08
The bottom line is...instead of this person & that person hating on each other because she's w/him or he's w/her & that couple doesn't look like you....GET OVER IT! As long as you live a life of respect, love & caring, your life will come w/rewards you never dreamed of. But, if you spend your time disrespecting, insulting & keeping others down...you'll never be the human being you were meant to be. Your life will never be fulfilled & you are destined to pass that hate & negativity on to generation after generation. Get your life in order people! Because the people you're hating on are living theirs to the fullest!!!
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mamisabrosa says:Posted: 07 Aug 08
Why do we black women need Don Imus when we have Mr.Laurelton to insult us by calling us "nappy-headed" and "programmed to fail"? You are 29 years old and I know that you think you are "good and grown", but you have a lot of growing up and self-introspection to do. The things that you have said about black women are cruel and terribly misplaced. I am a 39 year old beautiful successful lawyer who had never dated "outside my race" until two years ago when logic and love opened my eyes. Love is a powerful thing.
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Tampa_Chris says:Posted: 06 Aug 08
P.S. HOLLABACK NY and the North. I'm from up north originally but ran from the cold weather.
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Tampa_Chris says:Posted: 06 Aug 08
The different era idea holds completely true. Mentalities that we have are directly through experience. I'm experiencing young 20-23 yr old black women and you are experiencing I imagine 28 and up. That small age gap alone has a great impact on our past history concerning race relations. I mean just think, in just forty some odd years we have to give some credit to how far we've come since SEGREGATION.(I know, I know not EVEN close to perfect but,) I mean, just recently we all wouldn't have even been able to sit on this site and talk about this, let alone drink at freakin' water fountain or worship in a church or the list goes on and on of bullshit rules. I think your generation and mine are going to obviously go through these debates for some time. But do keep in mind, we are THEE crucial element in THESE years thats going towards the betterment of our societies futures especially for our children. Just imagine 100 years from now. I'm hoping no one will even worry about a "sell-out black woman/man" What would happen if you met the most unbelievable white/asian/indian woman? There will be people who hate on you constantly. I imagine your love will out-weigh your peers notions because, well, they're just ideas and opinions.
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Swtgurl190 says:Posted: 06 Aug 08
Sounds like someone has some anger issues to deal with :-) You can't stereotype all black women that date outside of their race by the few. I have no issues with myself, my color or with black men and I am definitely not intimidated by an educated black man or by anyone for that matter. I say "More power to him!", it makes his plight that much easier. I'm originally from Bklyn, NY, raised in a 2 parent Black Christian family as well and believe me when I say that I don't feel like a sell out for having married a white man. That just happens to be who I fell in love with and I could care less how "some ignorant" people view me.
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Member says:Posted: 06 Aug 08
Dear Tampa Chris I feel you on that by the way I use to live in Orlando Florida. Came back to New York City but that CNN " To be on Crack in Black America". They just seem to go out of their way to make black people look bad. Why people have to tell you to put a "shirt" on, the little homey would have got smacked up side his head by my pops. I was raised strict, I did run the streets but reality set in after my 20th year in high school lol. Grown ass man in high school I decided this is not cool. I went on to get my College Degree though a B.S in Criminology/Sociology. I guess I am from a different era and I am 29 years old we just don't air out our dirty laundry on television. At what point do you say look we are exploiting people here. Like the black woman with the 5 kids, that little jerk CNN sound man all up her business because she was about be evicted. Clearly she did not want that shit on camera. But you see I hope this opens the eyes of these nappy headed sellout black women running around worshiping the white man as the solution to their problems. I got nothing against white men, my thing is stop making it seem like he is going to save the world like OBAMA. I will never forget what this white man told me. He was formerly married to a sellout black girl. He said Laurelton they "hate you , they hate me, their just angry" You know what they are "programmed to fail"! At first I was like white boy talking crazy again. Then I realized yea they are "programmed to fail". Why is out of all races of women, the biggest complaints are about black women. I don't care if your not a black man. I heard it from all races of men but you see they won't say nothing. Me I will tell the truth period. Black women bloggers black balled me for a reason.
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Tampa_Chris says:Posted: 06 Aug 08
Mr. Laurelton makes good points, but I still thinks its such a broad topic b/c of so many peoples different experiences that it can't be summed up in just his explanation NOR the CNN "Black in America." I did watch the program and I honestly thought they did a fairly decent job in terms of getting to the whole unity thing with the old lady and the family reunion, but I've been dating sistas since forever and I agree wit Laurelton, that on the interracial couple. That was kinda whack. But I have had some family members(who are old) who don't approve but F'em. Like that white dude, I don't care because at the end of the day its who I Love and its just me and my lady. As long as she gets the respect she deserves (black, white, spotted, striped, whatever) its all good.
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Member says:Posted: 06 Aug 08
I am back again I just could not resist. I saw CNN's "To be on crack in Black America". Simply amazing they would air the black community dirty laundry for ratings. Even the sellout black girl with her white husband in one segment. She threw her white husband's family "under the bus". She said his white family did not want "black blood in their family". All her white husband could say is " Yea well they came around no big deal". NO BIG DEAL, jesus that is why I say some black women are desperate. If a white family does not accept you, yet you continue to force yourself upon a white man's family your a disgrace. Where exactly is your pride and dignity. By the way I am not through with CNN the host Soledad , she is biracial but married to a white man but she is the authority on the black community but hasn't been there in years. In the segment she has the nerve to ask another "Black woman" why she had so many kids. The funny thing is the Host of CNN got like 5 kids herself! I guess cause their father is white it's acceptable. When a black woman has several kids it is a negative stigma of some sort. The black male shortage is a myth, there are more black men in college and the workplace than what the media says. These sellout black women bloggers just want to sell books, magazines and make movies promoting their so called victimization. But you know what nobody will ever respect a sellout. I am for the black family because I was raised in a 2 parent home christian family. I refuse to be a sellout simply because you can't find "the right person". Maybe your not the right person, maybe you need to change things about yourself before you blame black men. I am gone
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Member says:Posted: 06 Aug 08
Dear Phatkity I am not angry, actually I am at work right now. But I had to respond real fast. It bothers me black women bash black men to justify dating white men. From blogs to magazines and movies. I guess it is fashionable to do so. When you attack them back then your the insensitive one. This blog is rather tame compared to most but some sellout black women hate themselves and their skin color. For all the negatives black men have. White men are not marrying sellout black women at a rapid rate. The perception can be different when your on a blog showing celebrity pictures but that is a fact. I am giving my perspective as a 29 year old black man from New York City. Bottom line if you want to be a sellout stop thinking the world revolves around you and stop doing TV specials about how "single and accomplished you are" but can't find a black man on your level. I graduated college, I actually think that is bullshit because black women are intimidated by college educated black men that's why they say " Oh your with a white woman I bet". I think they are better off with an emasculated white man if you ask me. Sincerely Me
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phatkitty says:Posted: 06 Aug 08THIS IS TO MR. LAURELTON QUEENS, YOU MY GOOD SIR, SEEM PRETTY ANGRY-I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT WOULD GARNER SUCH A RESPONSE FROM U. I HONESTLY WOULD LIKE TO KNOW.
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cheygirl6 says:Posted: 03 Aug 08
White men are HOTT!....and I just mesh with them better. I feel more at ease, comfortable and just seem to have more overall compatibilty with them. While there are plenty of attractive black men, I'm just not attracted TO them.(sexually/physically) I certainly wish that this weren't the case, for my pool of potential mates would probably triple. But what sense would it make to try and date someone that you have no physical/sexual attraction for? In the past, I actually opened myself to date black men but again their was no "spark". There's just no attraction. Well at least I tried!
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naturalcd says:Posted: 03 Aug 08
Congrats lely, many wishes to you. I had a roommate who was only into dating white men. She said that she did not like black men and thought that white men were more cultured. I rolled my eyes and kept it moving. I wrote in another post that I have experienced bad relationships with both white and black men. Which left me wondering what race I would end up with lol. I'm not sure if I would stop dating black men if I had only experienced bad relationships with them and not with white men...but I know that I wasn't particularly looking for a white man to date then eventually marry. It just happened. And, the guy I'm with, I'm the first black woman he has dated lol so this is a new experience for both of us. He just told me that he loved my smile and personality, and I fell in love with his kind and considerate soul. Someone here said you like who you like. I'm not getting hung up on the fact that I date white men because all black men are-fill in the blank. I am so not into putting my race down to justify me dating out. There are good and bad black, white, purple, polka dotted men, and good/bad black, white, purple, polka dotted baby daddys...well, you get the picture. I'm not quite sure why there are sistas out there who only date white men, you would probably have to ask each individual and not try to make blanket statements. Every single person has their own motive for dating out, whether it's good or bad is left to be seen.
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lely says:Posted: 27 Jul 08
me myself i am a black 20yr old african leaving in the UK, i have only dated one black man and i did not like him that much, av always liked white men i stated dating since i was 15yrs and at a age like that love never gets serious, i just turned 20 and i got sick of on and off relationships. one day we planned going out for a meal with few of my friends, it was a saturday night i wasnt in a mood of going out at all but i had to due to the fact that i could not let my friends down, i had a normall dress and never had make up on, two white men were sitting at our next table, i was not so concernd about them, i stood up going to order for a drink, one of the man came up to me and he sayed hallow!! i replyed hallow back, he asked if it was okey for them sitting along with us, and i sayed it was okey, we talked and he asked if i was single and i replied yes and luckly he was too, he bought us more and more drinks and dinner, at the end he asked if we had any plans for the rest of the night and we all sayed we dont have no plans, he offerd taking us at a night club just around that place, we had fun, at the end he told me that i was beautifull and kind, i liked him since the time i sat next to him, he gave me his number and i text him the next morning on sunday, he calld me and asked if we could meet up for lunch and sayed okey.. the next day he rung me again on a monday we talked for nearly 2hrs and we met again on tuesday for dinner, aswell as friday... i called him on saturday night and spent a night at his house, he took me home the next day.. i text him on that same day and he never replied me back, i was so upset as i liked him just for that one week. i was at work on the tuesday morning at around 10:30 and i received as flowers from him and a note saying (I HAVE NEVER FELT THIS WAY BEFORE AND IT IS DIFFICULT TO HIDE THE FEELINGS AV GOT. PLEASE BRENDA MARRY ME), yours andrew. i was happy but for a second i thought, why he never texts me back or even call, i had my phone and called him.. he said he was shy of telling me how he felt, i told him i liked him too so much.. we met up again that night and the following day and i grew up loving him for just the one week and a half, we meet up again on saturday telling me he had something for me, i dressed up well and amazing, he hold my hands tiet and asked if he would marry me, he took a lovely golden diamond ring from his pockets and asked me twice if i could marry him, and i sayed YES, the next day i rung my parents and told them everything, i meet his parents on a monday that week and they really liked me, my parents and my two brothers had to fly from africa to england on thursday that week... and we got married a week after. i know have a 4month little boy and our love is getting strong and stronger each day.
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DJTEEL says:Posted: 20 Jul 08
i find some black girls attractive but i absolutely hatetodays black music...al of it..rap,hip hop,r&b and the like.i can't even stand to lsiten to it for justa few minutes. and every black girl i've ever met is naturally into the black music.i listen to rock.country and anythig else but black music.so i've not ben very motivated to date the black girls i've met that i find attractive/.
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Swtgurl190 says:Posted: 15 Jul 08
One other little thing, we're all adults here, so we all know that indeed there are victims in dating. Especially when people are not honest or straight-forward and there are quite a few dishonest men AND women out there. I doubt that he was going in saying to these women "Just so you know, this is just about a good time, because since you're not black it's not gonna go any further." And just so I don't get beat up here, I know that there are quite a few honest and straight-forward men AND women out there as well...:-)
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Swtgurl190 says:Posted: 15 Jul 08
I believe Seancarter that you were referring to me in regards to the Jalen topic on dating many women. You may have mis-read my meaning, I'm not repulsed that he's dated many women, I've dated many men. I can't even say that I was repulsed at all by his words, but I do find it sad that these women are ok to sleep with but the whole time you have this mentality that you can't be in a committed relationhp with them solely based on their race. I can't see many women being ok with that, even if he's just Mr. Right Now. So, I appreciate what you're saying (in his defense) if that was the way my words were meant, but they were not.
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Tampa_Chris says:Posted: 14 Jul 08
What's up all? As usual, love the input. Much respect to everyone. Jus wanted to let everyone know that CNN is doing a special on the 23rd and 24th called "Black In America." They will be taking on many issues one of which is interracial dating and marriage. Check it out.
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new2thegame says:Posted: 14 Jul 08
poetlove, I actually never had any terrible experiences with bm. I'm definitely not one of those women who are mad at bm. So that's why my new approach isn't an exclusion of bm, but instead more of an inclusion of wm. As far as the comment that I give up higher chances of compatibility with wm...well that's where we may differ in opinion. I think that's the mistake a lot of people make in thinking that one's race is such a dominant and overwhelming force in our personality. As if sharing the same race trumps everything else about you. If you think about it how many of the things you do and enjoy in your everyday life are things done just by someone of your own race. Race makes up a part of who we are...it doesn't define
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poetlove says:Posted: 14 Jul 08new2thegame I will say you are speaking on persoanl observations and choices, but also generalized observations. I often get that as the answer from bw who choose to venture something to the effect of "y'all do it" or "black men don't act right". I pose the question where are you meeting your black men at? If you meet somebody in an unsavory place nine times out of ten he'll be an unsavory person. That goes for any race. As for the future yes i'm sure there will be more bw venturing. That also doesn't mean there won't be sisters not turning away from their brothers. I just don't get the whole I'm at a time in my life where I only want to date wm thing. If anything that's narrowing your field considerably also. Maybe not monetary but compatibility wise i'm sure of it.
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new2thegame says:Posted: 14 Jul 08
I've been reading this blog for about a month or so but I never jumped in the conversation. What's making me jump in now...I don't know. I guess it's because I'm starting a new dating ritual of my own and that's actively seeking white men to date. I say actively seeking because before I never had a problem dating white men. It's just that lots of white men never seriously approached me in social settings. Most of the times that white men showed interest in me it was when we met and got to know each other in business settings...and being in corporate america that can get sticky with any man for fear of the whole sexual harrassment. I think one of the main reasons you don't see more bw/wm couples is that although a lot of wm find bw interesting I think many are scared to approach us. They don't know if when they approach us if we will be one of the open minded bw who is interested or if we'll give them some crazy look that says "I can't believe this wm is hitting on me". I think it's hard enough for men to stick their neck out and get rejected...the whole bw/wm thing is just another added risk. I live in CA so interracial dating is fairly common although the majority is bm with other races. A bw/wm still gets a few looks. Strange...I never expected bm to get so upset about it. Also now it seems I have some bw friends living vicariously through me. Once I started telling my girls of my new dating habits the truth started coming out. Trust me a lot of bw want to dip over to the other side but they don't want deal with all the bull from all the haters out there...and there are plenty. I'm not saying I'll never date a black man again, but right now at this time in my life I'm finding a lot more wm in which I have more things in common with and share my values and interest on things that are important to me. It's sad because in some ways I feel like I'm growing apart from a huge portion of the bm population. I never use to buy into the whole black man shortage thing but I think that was because I aways had a man and even when I was coupled up I would still get hit on by what I considered good bm. So I just assumed there wasn't a shortage. But about a year ago I started paying more attention to things and I would notice that whenever I was out at the movies, dinner, concerts and other places there was always a bunch of bw girlfriends out together...manless. Even at the parks and beaches you would see black families with a bunch of women, the kids and only like 2 bm. I love to travel internationally and bm are missing from this picture as well. Now I know someone on this blog is going to come along and try and blast me and say I'm sterotyping brothas, or generalizing, but that's not my intent. Me dating wm more now at this point in my life is a personal decision. I'm all about choices. The more I have to choose from the better I feel that I'll find a good man. I think bm are going to be shocked in the next years to come at how many bw start dating wm. A lot of bm think they have a lock on the bw. In our society men are still primarily the pursuers of women. Once more bw start openly confessing they're open to dating wm then I think more wm will pursue bw. Seeing it on TV will also make more folks more comfortable. I think it's a good thing because love is hard to find period . Even harder when you rule out 88% percent of the population. That's what bw do when they refuse to consider dating outside of their race.
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Apparently you are as ignorant as I initially thought; "labelling" is the British spelling and therefore NOT incorrect. I also use 'colour', 'grey', ' jewellery' and 'neighbourhood' thanks to my British mum. For you to attack my use of a question mark in conjunction with an exclamation point to express exasperation is inane; a passive voice in one sentence has nothing to do with the punctuation of another! And you're not even an English major! And just FYI, having one black GRANDPARENT does not make a person half-black. That would make me one quarter black, not half. I suggest you embrace a Math class.