Why some Black women only date White Men

Posted by James, 17 Jan

We always talk about Black women and how they can’t date White men. Well, there are those black women that only date White men. I remember a pal of mine telling me once that she will never get married to Black man. And even as kids, when playing make believe, she was always married to a White guy.

The reason for women like her who only date white men may be very similar to the reasons why most Black women only date Black men … attraction. Some also feel that Black men treat them better than any other man ever could, and they feel that they'd rather have what they know instead of experimenting with what they don’t know.

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Some Black women are just not physically attracted to Black men. And as much as parents usually like hooking us up with people of our own race, well it reaches a time when you have to be honest with yourself. Imagine my pal for example: As a child, her first crush was Adam Sandler, then as she got older, she fell in love with Mel Gibson. This doesn’t mean that Black men aren’t handsome – they are just not her type.

Some also feel that White men (not ALL but many) find black women to be remarkable in every sense of the word; hence Black women tend to gravitate towards those affections. Much as her husband treats her better than any man ever had, one lady admits that she has been with some White men that disgusted her with their behaviors. But she says that generally, older White men and very mature on a broader level than with Black men on many levels.

Some are just wildly turned on by the differences … skin color, hair, being raised in different cultures, music, foods … the list is endless. Its all about the desire for the mysterious and unknown. And for some, its just pure love because there are those that forget that we are ‘black’ and ‘white’ and just coincidentally happened to fall in love with a White guys.

One thing we all have to remember is that not every White man is a Black woman’s dream. It all depends on the individual … good and bad comes in all colors.

With that said, the generic phrase - ‘It should be about love and not color’ – is cute. But in this case, not entirely truthful. Its not only about love. Much as love gets cultivated eventually, there is physical attraction and a declaration to date only one race. Racist or preference?

1841 responses to "Why some Black women only date White Men"

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  1.   Jo says:
    Posted: 15 Jun 09

    Black Men pick Whire Women last. Whats your point? This doesn't mean that any other Interracial Couple is less than a couple because of the race differance. I think your bitter and jealous. Your looking for attention when you come on here because no one pay attention to your crappy blog. Most people come on there for Mr.Mike, if you notice when he comments your post number goes into the 100's sometimes. to everyone on here DONT PAY ATTENTION TO HIM! Let him post and look crazy because no one s replying.

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  2.   Jo says:
    Posted: 15 Jun 09

    Mr.Laurelton Queens need a life. He spend his time coming on here attacking people for who they like to date when he is engaged. It's sad. My question to you is WHY DO YOU CARE! Your not single and looking to date people! You have someone so who other people are dating shoudn't worry you. I think he's mad because women rarely pay attention to him and he end up with some ugly ,no job, ghetto girl who writes like she is in High School and can't even keep her kids.

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  3.   Member says:
    Posted: 15 Jun 09

    Now I am racist This is simply amazing coming from a person who advocates for censorship of free speech. Just because what I say hurts your feelings. That is the problem with people like you. Everybody is racist to some degree. The average white man wouldn't want to deal with a black woman's male family members. So let's get that straight. Don't be mad because I speak the truth. As for white supremacists they believe they are superior to black people. I don't think I am superior to anybody. Plus, I don't blame jews for anything. Why don't you ask yourself why black women "all of a sudden want white men when they use to dismiss them". It is always easier to pick the easy target then critically think about an issue. You still can't explain why white men pick black women LAST. I still get no answers to this key question.

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  4. Posted: 14 Jun 09

    You know, I had a good read of more of the posts here - the ones that are hateful, spiteful and frankly racist. I see quite a few posts - many of them from people that feel that its not okay for women or men to date outside their race. Really who gives anyone the right to say what is right or wrong for anyone else? What people like or don't like is their right, pure and simple. I'm simply amazed that there are people like Laureton Queens who think that its okay to make judgments on the preferences of anyone - your blog is a disgusting body of hate and filth. Frankly, Queens, and the rest of you who have the same opinions, you really should keep your racism to yourself. The fact is no one here has called you what you all really are - racist. A racist that if you were white would be right up there with a Klansman, a white supremacist or a Nazi. You're backward, you're unkind and you're indecent. You probably believe that an evil scientist named Yakub created white people from an experiment gone bad. Frankly you should probably take your opinions to Idaho and hook up with the White Power movement - you'd likely find you have a lot in common. You can all work together to create "separate but equal" communities where you can both look at each other warily across the barbed wire and try to squelch human nature. Oh, and just for the record, the guys who have these same opinions are complete misogynists. Why is that? Queens, do you suffer from gynophobia? How dare you call a woman a whore? What gives you the right? From your posts and from the women you've slept with a good deal of women from every race, so that makes you a bit of a confused whore doesn't it? In fact, looking at your posts, I would think you're a bit of a confused slut who doesn't know what the hell he wants, other than to denigrate the choices that people of all races are free to make in terms of who they date and what they want. If you can't live with it, why should anyone care? People like you are not better than James Von Braunn - in fact, having checked you blog and his after he shot a (black) guard at the Holocaust Museum, it seems the two of you have a lot in common. You're a hatemonger pure and simple. In closing, people should make their own choices when it comes to dating and not denigrate other people's choices. Who are we to care about anyone' choices but our own? You are free to date whoever you want. That is as it should be. A lot of people died throughout history because of people like you, and thanks to those people's sacrifice, we're much much better off. If you want to go back in history because you're a backward racist, then so be it, but don't even think you'll take any of us with you.

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  5. Posted: 14 Jun 09

    I've read a lot of these posts and there are a lot of people I cannot abide by and just as many I agree with completely. I am a white guy who in my life has dated people who are black, asian, east indian, scandinavian, irish, Mediterranean and at the end of the day, though I personally like women who are darker haired and darker skinned (I am white with light brown hair just for the record) of all races just as a personal preference, that has not stopped me from having very long term relationships with people who were very blond or red haired - or dark brown or black. The way a person looks is merely a bonus - its the content of their character, their attitude, and how they mesh with your personality that matters. Anyone who is so shallow that they cannot date a person they click with because of skin colour is an idiot in my opinion. As to the people that say "I cannot date anyone but X race because they cannot understand me" you're foolish. As an American, I've been able to date Jamaicans, Japanese, Singaporeans, Indians, Pakistanis, French, Italians, Finns to name a few nationalities and I can say that if anything, the differences in culture were to our mutual benefit - at the end of the day what people want is universal, and though shared experiences are important, to say they are your only guide means that you should probably just date your cousin. Anyway, skin colour is the icing on the cake. People are and should be attracted to each other because of their compatibility - and that happens regardless of colour.

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  6. Posted: 04 Jun 09

    I can understand this kind of feeling. I'm white and I'm mostly attracted to Indian girls or Arab girls.

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  7.   Grayfox says:
    Posted: 29 May 09

    If you will make your question plain;I will be glad to answer it.Seems to me you don't want my answer.I believe you are trying to push this square peg into a round hole.Just get real plain with me,I can take it.I'm not going to bash anybody on here.I love the truth.The Truth has no color or gender.Also everyone is an individual.People have similiarites,but,they are like snowflakes no two are exactly alike.I try to find something to like about everyone.There are those who make this difficult at times.Especially that guy in the mirror.I know him too well with all his many flaws.I'm like Kareem in the movie,Cain't we all just get along.If I can love myself I think I am capable of loving any other human on earth.JamesT I don't know that I clearly understand your question.It seemed retorical to me,but,I'm far from knowing it all.Grayfox.

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  8.   JamesT says:
    Posted: 27 May 09

    Grayfox, "NEVER ASSUME" Since you didn't answer my question, I had to.

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  9.   Grayfox says:
    Posted: 27 May 09

    It is so refreshing to hear people speak the truth.Honesty is most important to me.Who cares what others think.As long as you and the person you are with are happy.That stuff called locker room talk needs to cease.I played football in high school and never took part in that.I'm a man now and I sure don't think my love life is others business.Something to be nourished and cherished by the two.The man and the woman.Others have no right to know what goes on behind closed doors.Grayfox.

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  10.   Austrian says:
    Posted: 27 May 09

    Fire 321, and most women have noticed, that SIZE is not the most important, but 'ITS' PERFORMANCE! I had planned not to comment on this idiot's (and he has the nerve to call himself AMERICAN) tasteless note, however, I want to encourage all men, to stop worrying about their SIZE.

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  11.   Grayfox says:
    Posted: 27 May 09

    Hi,Would sure like to converse with a nice lady.Not asking for much,just conversation.You cain't have too many friends.I ain't too proud to beg,lol.I don't want to fuss;just talk.Grayfox.

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  12.   Fire321 says:
    Posted: 25 May 09

    American--- I can't believe you actually had the audacity to print that nonsense about the size of black men's penises. That is THE biggest myth around. As in any race, you have a small percentage of men that well endowed. Most fall into the average/slightly better than average range and as with most races, you have those who are less fortunate in that department. I think people need to stop with the stereotypes and be realistic about people from all races.

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  13.   Austrian says:
    Posted: 25 May 09

    Beth 13, Your preference for dark skin is shared by many women of any color! Just as you feel the fascination with dark skin, so do some dark skinned men long to touch your 'Irish fair skin'. So please do not try to tan and get sunburnt! You know how good it feels, when 'warm and cold skins' find their way together. It is a much greater sensation, than both having the same temperature - or in this case - color!!! I love your positive attitude in your comments!

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  14.   Grayfox says:
    Posted: 21 May 09

    NEVER ASSUME.

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  15.   JamesT says:
    Posted: 20 May 09

    It's well written but doesn't answer my question. The only thing I can assume is that those type of black women I asked you about are the bad ones?

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  16.   Grayfox says:
    Posted: 19 May 09

    I don't think people should be lumped in a cluster like grapes.There are good people and bad people of every race.We are all members of the human race.Everyone has had different life experiences.All I personally can say is black women for the most part have treated me much better.I was made to feel like a king and it was no problem treating them like my queen.I figured out how to get along with people who like to fuss.Stay away from them,lol.I know just as many bad white men as I do bad black men.Hatred and all evil knows no color boundaries just as love and all good qualities on the flip side.Just my thoughts on the matter.Grayfox.

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  17.   JamesT says:
    Posted: 19 May 09

    Grayfox, how do you feel about black women like Caribeancutie and others who ONLY date white men because of ill feelings towards black men?

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  18.   Grayfox says:
    Posted: 16 May 09

    I prefer dark-skinned women myself.I am a white man.Try to treat all other people like I want to be treated.Life is far too short to waste it hating anyone.I'm new to this computer age we live in so please bear with me.Also I may have some grammatical errors as grammer has nevr been my stong point.I'd just like to say it is timeout for the hating the same God made us all.May you all realize how loved and blessed we really are.Have a wonderful Day,Grayling Graves.

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  19.   american says:
    Posted: 09 May 09

    I believe black women ignore dating black men because of the black man's huge penis shape .Black women believe in order to keep the pum..pum.. tight a white guy wont inlarege the pum.. pum.. as much ;so that she could still feel somewhat filled wiht a gaping hole.

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  20.   Beth13 says:
    Posted: 03 May 09

    My rating has ranged all over the place, but I have had more white partners than another race by sheer happenstace: that's who I've connected with, you know? My eye is drawn first to dark-skinned men, either blacks or Hispanics, but I haven't found all that many dark skinned guys who want a lily-white Irish girl. I, too, love the contrast of dark skin against light skin. I also just think dark skin is more attractive. If I could afford it, I'd be on a tanning bed all winter long to avoid that fish-belly look I have going on in February! LOL

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  21.   Tina says:
    Posted: 03 May 09

    I only date white men (and Asian men) because they are who I am attracted to. It isn't a matter of who I prefer it is a matter of who I am physically and socially attracted to. I don't prefer white or Asian men I am attracted to white and Asian men. However, I prefer blondes with blue/green eyes. So for me what I prefer is one thing who I am attracted to is another. I just say everyone should just be happy with who they are with...period.

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  22.   JamesT says:
    Posted: 29 Apr 09

    Tampa, Yeah you redeemed your status. But I'm also referring to women like Caribeancutie (damn that's an angry bw)who made their thoughts on "equality" quite clear.

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  23.   Tampa_Chris says:
    Posted: 28 Apr 09

    James, If you're listening to these women, the majority of them continually say that they won't not date a Black man again but are willing to broaden their horizons in the dating world. That, my friend, is where the equality statement comes from. Yes, the topic of the blog includes the word "only" but I also think you should listen to these women. It seems that many of the ladies here have expanded themselves outside of a "topic" and have dated Black men and quite possibly if the right Black man came along may try another meaningful relationship with him...maybe. Also, equality doesn't have to do with your preferences in dating. I see some fine White women all the time, but I prefer the presence of a Black woman. That's my preference. Equality to me is more to do with your civil rights and duties to all of us as a society. In finding and working for this equality it creates more opportunity to pursue our preferences or maybe in people like Mocha's case, try something new (and No, not an intentional interracial movie reference, lol). James, that my bad my intelligence level has dropped in your eyes, but I feel that "equality" in itself if so broad and probably could be a blog topic all in its own. And Mocha, all you gotta do is talk to the man. I mean, we're all adults. We all did things when we were in our high school era that we may want to do over, but just find out where he's at wit it and explain to him where your head was at when you said it. Maybe at that time you did only date Black guys. Explain that to him, open conversation with him. Maybe homeboy won't even bring it up. Who knows until you find out???

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  24.   Bumpslick says:
    Posted: 27 Apr 09

    Need some help advice- The company I work for hired 2 new people in my dept......One of the people they hired is an Italian dude that had a crush on me in high school dayz. He was so shy ( highschool days) he sent his female cousin over to me to tell me that he had a crush on me......I remember rudely telling her " sorry I only date black men so tell him NO WAY " and she looked at me with a shocked embaressed look on her face and walked away. Suddenly the past came back to haunt me, I feel like a piece of shit when I face him cause I cant believe how immature and rude that was back then . I feel horrible, any suggestions on how i can approach my new co-worker ?

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  25.   JamesT says:
    Posted: 27 Apr 09

    Tampa Chris, Do you call black women "who ONLY date white men" (which is what this topic is called) and who bash bm "equality lovers"? Thought you were smarter than that. P.S. Zahara77, Wow, you're gorgeous!

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  26. Posted: 27 Apr 09

    Feeding a troll only invites him to stay around looking for more feeders. Trolls is not the problem, but feeders are. Then we ask him to stop or go away. Why should he, he's being feed very well.

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  27.   Zahara77 says:
    Posted: 27 Apr 09

    I think it's all based on personal preference. I personally would not understand any woman who would limit herself to ONLY WHITE MEN (or any particular race of men in general), however, I do respect their choice and their right to choose who they love. This idea of black women being 'sellouts' is getting quite old. There is no need to bash us for exercising our rights to love who we want.

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  28.   Member says:
    Posted: 25 Apr 09

    God bless my man Tampa Chris Longtime no see homey. Mocha stick with us ya dig. Plenty of black men want you and will not PICK YOU LAST. Go to your local college and talk to a black man that is into his "books". I could never understand why black women never went out of their way to talk to us in college. Instead they shake their ass for fraternities and whore themselves to athletes. No offense to Tampa Chris I know he is in a fraternity. These black women need to stop complaining and get you a man that is striving to finish college. Just because he is quiet does not mean he is not interested in you. I already know you overlook the nerdy white guys. So,let's not try to get self righteous here. That is why we have to discipline you when we are successful. I don't even know why these black women think "white men" are the "solution" to their dating woes. The underlying issue is their "loose" and addicted to the fridge. Among other things like insecure, jealous and sometimes loud. Have a nice day Man these girls know who the fuck I am. I am not playing games with them anymore! Mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com

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  29.   Swtgurl190 says:
    Posted: 25 Apr 09

    As always Chris, your response to Mocha was well said. You rock! I haven't been on here in forever because there is way too much hate and hypocrisy being spewed all the time. People really should just live their lives and love who they want. Who really cares about the opinions of people who don't or refuse to understand it.

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  30.   Bumpslick says:
    Posted: 25 Apr 09

    Tampa Chris U make some excellent points. Sadly to say I am very superficial and I guess I have not matured from that phase as yet in my life. I promised myself for 2009 that I would be more open minded and try to date all types of men that I would not normally date....I've been dating 3 dudes so far ( black men ) certain characteristics about these men I would NOT normally date ....But I thought I should try it....and I found myself being uncomfortable around them and I tend to throw alot of unecessary wise cracks towards them . I want to see what its like to date a white dude but Im scared cause I dont want to hurt anyone or make them feeel uncomfortable to conquer my experiments.

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  31.   Tampa_Chris says:
    Posted: 24 Apr 09

    Mocha, I don't know if you've read my past posts here, but its taken me a minute to really respond to much else mostly due to all the negative stuff being tossed around. Its almost like how many times can the equality lovers post vs. Queens, or whomever?? Its get kinda tiring, but we are a people of blogs, and facebooks, and twitters so we get stuck in the realm. I see your post and its a genuine question, one that should be discussed rather than all this other jazz. I think its more of, what do you as a woman look for in a man? I mean, white catz come from all walks of earth just like everyone else. Just like any person they can be coming from all different backgrounds and experiences. Mine brought me to where I am now and in full appreciating and true love for Black women. I still have love for all different women, still true to my own Italian culture, but I'll be damned if I'd deny my preferences in finding my own happiness. When it comes down to it, you are a grown woman and should be treated as such. Through interaction and conversation you'll get a feel for what kind of white dude you're kickin' it with. I don't need to tell you, but as long as he's respecting you and you're feelin' him, you shouldn't let the color of someones skin hold you back from truly being happy.

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  32.   JamesT says:
    Posted: 24 Apr 09

    By all means do, just don't start looking down on bm.

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  33.   Bumpslick says:
    Posted: 23 Apr 09

    maybe I should try a white dude for the first time...Im kinda of scared though!

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  34. Posted: 23 Apr 09

    Trolls love to be fed! They remains because they are fed very well. That's the nature of trolls. Trolls are not the blame, the feeder are.

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  35.   Zahara77 says:
    Posted: 23 Apr 09

    WOW! There is alot of hate being spewed in this thread. I understand people are allowed to state their opinion, but some people are taking things way to far. There is no need to degrade someone becuase you don't agree with their lifestyle. People have a right to love and live how they want. So live and let live people!! Btw, if certain individuals are going to state their opinion, at least show your damn picture and stop hiding behind a blank face.

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  36.   alexis.raye says:
    Posted: 14 Apr 09

    i love black MEN... but i dont see the need to limit myself to them.... why should i? why should anyone limit themselves on who to love... love who you want, just love them for the RIGHT reasons, not because of the color of their skin...

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  37.   JamesT says:
    Posted: 11 Apr 09

    I'm not calling you a whore, just confused.

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  38.   luvanurse says:
    Posted: 08 Apr 09

    I cannot believe this thread is still going. I am shocked that the moderator would allow women to be called whores on this blog. I guess I should not talk because I have said some things myself and meant every word. BTW, still loving white men. MMMMM

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  39.   Member says:
    Posted: 05 Apr 09

    James You hit it right on the nail.

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  40.   JamesT says:
    Posted: 05 Apr 09

    Unfortunately less than 1% of wm are attracted to you. The other 1% marry Asian women and 98% marry ww.

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  41.   carmelrxn says:
    Posted: 02 Apr 09

    I find white men attractive. That is why I date them. I have dated other men of other racial and ethnic background but I am just more attracted to white men.

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  42.   JamesT says:
    Posted: 01 Apr 09

    Hollywood has a lot to do with the bm that bw chooses, then get hurt and then run to emasculated wm. Have you noticed in movies it's always the fly, cool brotha, who's "the man" that get's the girl. I don't wanna mess up anybody's game but in real life, these are usually the bm that treat women with disrespect. There are plenty of decent bm out there, they're just not chosen. Secondly, have anybody noticed how the cute adorable, geeky, dorky white guy always get the girl in Hollywood? Adam Sandler, that guy from American Pie and the rest. In real life these are also the wm that seem to get the fly BLACK/ASIAN/LATINA girl. They also getting all the bw that's been let down by bm and who now choose emasculated wm. And, these are the only wm that are available to them, since 98% of wm still choose ww and bm are left with the leftovers (that ww don't want). Who's behind Hollywood btw?

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  43.   Chassie says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 09

    I have been attracted to white men all my life. Where are the ones that are comfortable with interacial dating. I find that we nhave a lot in common and I just feel te comfort with them. WHERE ARE YOU?

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  44.   Member says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 09

    Dear Kool Put on your track shoes and run back to white women! I am sure you can find an attractive one! Have a nice day, I mean it.

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  45. Posted: 29 Mar 09

    No...you listen. Learn to accept that there are black women who prefer to be with white men & vice versa. Who said I had anything against white women or other white people? Lemme help you...nobody said that. I try to love & get along with everyone. I dont dislike white women. They are not what I am atrracted to. A traitor to my race? LMAO!!! Man! You are too much. I'm officially done with this thread & your comical views. Peace sun!

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  46.   Member says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 09

    Dear Kool Haterade lol. Listen, learn to love white women. I don't know what you got against your race. It is really sad that you dislike your own women. I bet you duck that issue too. What women ever do to you to make you be a traitor to your race? Have a nice day

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  47. Posted: 29 Mar 09

    Blah Blah Blah...There is only one word that suits this guy Mr. Queens..."hater" Hating on the black women who want nothing to do with him lol! Keep sippin' the haterade! People like you amuse me & make me laugh ;)

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  48.   Member says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 09

    I see you are over here too. Apologize for being a nappy head how about that? Also, apologize to your father and male family members for bashing black men too. Everything is what the white man CAN DO FOR ME. Selfish disgrace of a woman. What are you bringing to the table other than your vagina? God bless

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  49. Posted: 29 Mar 09

    koolbreez007, Mr Laurelton Queens has a serious problem; he can't deal with the fact that black women do and are celebrating their options and are loving and being loved by white men. I love and prefer white men and make NO APOLOGIES for it. Black men like him will simple have to deal with it. He, like alot of black men are hypocrites on alot of things and situations such as this.

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  50.   Member says:
    Posted: 24 Mar 09

    Dear Koolbreeze Banned for what exactly? There are whores in the world. For the record where did I say black men dating white women was acceptable? You don't give a damn about your community that is your choice. I know when you come in my community your a prick. Black men 99 percent of the time already been with your woman. Listen you sound emasculated now. Have some pride in your race. Next thing your going to say to me is that you got male friends that think "your black too". Now you want to ban me because you don't like what I say. I have said worse. I know what it is it bothers you that your the last resort when shit goes bad for black women. I would be upset too. Good day.

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