When Cougars Attack
Depending on who is doing the prowling there has always been a name for it... "Lolita, Boy Toys, Jail bait and now Cougars". It really boils down to the coupling of two individuals where there is an considerable age difference. Cougars are the older women hooking up with hot young men for SEX! They even have a movie about them. Not a good movie, but it just tells you how popular this "coupling" has become for the older women that take on a younger man. Is it an option for you? I guess it all depends on how young you feel and what you're looking for.
The NARP released a survey back in 2003 revealing that one-third of the single women between 40 and 60 were dating younger men... All we have to do is look back to the 1967 movie The Graduate to realize that this was NOT a new thing. If there is anything that is new about it, perhaps it's the fact that it's not as taboo anymore. In fact, there are a slue of celebrities that have joined the parade...and those smiles and waves seem to be getting bigger and better.
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So, what does Madonna, Susan, Demi and Usher's old lady (no pun intended here), have in common? They are all at lease 9-years older than their men. In some circles, they would be labeled a "cougar", but I don't believe the term really applies here. See, cougars are supposed to just "hook up" with younger guys for sex. These women have giving up the opportunity to fornicate, for a ring and a promise of "happily ever after". Is there a new trend in women dating younger, or are we just hearing more about it?
It would appear that society has become less judgmental and more in line with what men have always been doing. It could be that women and our attitude towards dating younger have changed. Before, women were having children younger and depended on their husbands for financial support. There was very little opportunity or thought given to dating or marrying a younger man because we were too busy looking for security and stability.
That's not to say that we don't still want security or stability today, it's just that we can pretty much provide it for ourselves. This allows us to find a man based on what we want not what we need. Speaking of desires, there is more to dating a younger man than just the sex. Depending on the woman, there is a great deal of excitement, fun and freedom. Excuse me for a moment as I generalize and stereotype...many older guys, still have that "me man you woman" mentality. They want someone to cook their food, iron their clothes and take care of them like dear old mom did. Again, not all older guys, but enough.
From personal experience, I can say that it was never my intention to seek-out a younger man. He actually found me. The age differences only comes up when we "remember" that there is a difference and make a joke about it.
One of the many pluses to dating younger includes energy or stamina. Do I really have to spell this one out for you? Let me put it this way, when I met my younger man, I thought that there was something wrong with him. Here are a few things I remember saying at the time: "How can that be natural?", "Didn't you...", "Then why is it still...", "Again?", "OMG, you're going to give me a f*&(!ng heart attack". Okay, maybe not the last one, but you get my point.
The minuses well, it's hard to pin point those as being age related. Other than his mother telling him "I had baggage", I mean, she was right. But, so did he. We still had to learn our way with each other. It helped that he was more mature than most men were at his age and that I've always had a very youthful outlook on life. It was a great balance and blend...it still is.
So, have you ever thought about dating a younger man, or guys, an older woman? When you created your profile and put in your age preference did you think about the way you've "always" dated or did you leave it open to "something new?"
See, I've only had the one and he doesn't seem to be going anywhere. Although I do joke that he's now as old as I was when I met him and it might be time for me to find a "younger" model. He only laughs, grabs me and the next thing I know I'm saying... "how can that be natural...OMG, you're going to give me a f*&(!ng heart attack.
41 responses to "When Cougars Attack"
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southernmoca says:Posted: 23 Apr 09I fell into the cougar stage. I didnt go out of my way to date the younger guys.. it just happened. I just couldnt shake the feeling that I was dating guys around the age of my son. It was very tense around the house when my son expressed his disapproval. But now wait..I am not bashing it. Some young guys are very mature and they make great companions, but they are not the norm... But If that is where you find love, go for it. Just not for me and do not look at my son, he's off limits
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LYM123 says:Posted: 20 Apr 09
I had a friend tell me that my sons high school football teammates thought that I was HOT! I was in my 40's then. I am 52 now and still have young boys hitting on me. The young guy no more than 19 or 20 begged me to come back to the hotdog stand where he worked. Oh he was cute too. I am married ya know. But I am finding that I am attracted to young men! If I were single, it would be younger men ALL THE WAY! And also I had decided to return to college in my 40's as well. Got hitted on all the time. My husband is still mad and brings up the fact that I helped a couple of younger guys with their work while I was there. It was all innocent. I think! SMILE!
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Edna says:Posted: 19 Jan 09I guess I'm still a bit conservative. I'm flattered when I get the attention, but I prefer mature men (not necessarily meaning old). Who knows, if I men a young man with an old soul, perhaps I will change my mind
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fullfignina says:Posted: 09 Jan 09
I am at the time of my life where my sexual peak is at it's highest. Your pretty frisky while in your teens and twenties but orgasms will never be quite as powerful until you are in your mid late thirties and forties and even fifties. Oh, to have a young man with that kind of stamina!!!!
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Marie says:Posted: 02 Jan 09
When I was approached by a guy 19 younger than I it was a little shocking. I mean we were both past the age of consent and it was fun, a lot of fun like a Circus (being thrown into the center ring!) Over time (it was an affair after-all), it grew to represent us both. One can't swing from the chandelier 24/7 there is room for tenderness. This can be wonderful not all women of a certain age are really Cougars!
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STL-MO says:Posted: 21 Nov 08
I trully believe love is WHERE you find it's not in the lables attached to it ie: blk, wht, older, younger, sugar daddy, cougar and many others. Only the people involved in these relationships know their true motives and the reason behind what they're doing. Only the younger guys know if he's only looking for an ego boost by being with a " matured " woman, maybe she's established career wise, she may be a business owner or finacially well to do. Only the woman knows if she's looking for a boost to her self esteem by having a younger men pursue her. I bbelieve that both the younger man and the matured woman gain something for the relationship is so way, will it lead to ever lasting love? Who knows? As long as both people are true to their needs and honest with the other person, then why not " ride it till the wheels fall off! As a man in my late 30's I have an appreciation for the " Matured Woman", she's experienced life, she's had her ups & downs and turn arounds. She's knows herself sexually and she's comfortable in her own skin but most of all she has no time for games. A man can drive a Rolls Royce, wear the best suits, live an up scale home but until he's dated a " Matured Woman he has yet to experience one of the finest things in life!
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ailed says:Posted: 31 Oct 08
I can't agree more with this article!! I'm so relieved it came out...Ever since I got a divorce 7 years ago to a husband 3 months older than me, I have only dated younger guys. They have always chosen me. It came to a point where I dated a guy 1/2 my age...he was 22 at that time. Its true, the ride is incredible, and my self esteem enjoys each moment, and now I'm ready to settle down (take a break) with someone who can be close to me at a more slower pace. I've realized that age in a man does not define his maturity...all the guys I dated have been way more mature than my ex, including the now 23 year old! They will do anything to please an older woman. So, if this makes me a cougar, then by all means, include me in the club!!
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Ladybc217 says:Posted: 05 Oct 08
I loved this article. It's always good to know that one is not alone on the subject of "Cougar-dom" :). I have often used the term 'I'm a Cougar" not in the terms of 'hooking up to have sex' but to having a refreshed, exciting and invigorating relationship with someone that does not care about the age difference. I have always been told that I look at least 10 years younger than my actual age and that is very flattering. I feel and act young at heart and I believe it's the attitude towards life that makes the difference in who or what one may attract. I'm more interested in 'where' a young man is going in life than where an 'older' man has already been, (in terms of experiences). Whilst I am still searching for that 'guy' I'm going to relish the fact that feeling like a 'Cougar' is AWESOME!!!
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Cindy says:Posted: 01 Oct 08
It is encouraging to note there are many ladies out there who have boys younger than themselves. My boy is 26 years younger than me (60 years) and we have been in love for over 3 years and we are due to marry in 4 months time.My 39 year old daughter approves it and is happy about it. He is well employed, gives me a very good time in bed sees that i pass out and makes me feel younger and dresses me up in sexy dresses micro mini skirts, short and see through nighties, and undies (g strings and sand sexy bras). And belive it or not seeing me my daughter has started dating a guy who is 22 and is very happy. we both married older men and are now divorced.
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strongsassy says:Posted: 27 Sep 08
Good to know it has become a somewhat common thing. I did not hear it mentioned that women who work out and take care of themselves look younger and have stamina themselves. Most people guess i am 10 years younger than i am. i have had boys younger than my own children hit on me. it always surprises me, but it is flattering. the youngest i have dated for a length of time was 13 years younger. i enjoy younger people as a whole, as i am young at heart and still love to have a good time. old men remind me of my grandfather and that is disgusting. all young men are not great lovers, nor are all black men. you cannot generalize either. Being a great lover is more an attitude of what makes the other person happy and asking questions. as for me, i just find chocolate muscles sexy, so that's who I seek out. age is an attitude!
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strongsassy says:Posted: 27 Sep 08
Good to know it has become a somewhat common thing. I did not hear it mentioned that women who work out and take care of themselves look younger and have stamina themselves. Most people guess i am 10 years younger than i am. i have had boys younger than my own children hit on me. it always surprises me, but it is flattering. the youngest i have dated for a length of time was 13 years younger. i enjoy younger people as a whole, as i am young at heart and still love to have a good time. old men remind me of my grandfather and that is disgusting. all young men are not great lovers, nor are all black men. you cannot generalize either. Being a great lover is more an attitude of what makes the other person happy and asking questions. as for me, i just find chocolate muscles sexy, so that's who I seek out. age is an attitude!
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spud4life says:Posted: 22 Sep 08
I loved the article. I like older women, they're often more sure about themselves and what they want. That's very sexy and appealing. Also, they like to celebrate their own youthful attitude which is fun. Anyone interested? Then mail me! Lol
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kenyanito says:Posted: 19 Sep 08mmmmmmmm...UNEEQ i am really happy for you.What matters is how you feel towards each other..Go ahead
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uneeque29 says:Posted: 11 Sep 08
I loved this article, and i'm all for dating or having a relationship with a younger man. I spent 40 yrs with the love of my life who past away in January of last yr, who was 7 yrs my jr. I'm in a wonderful relationship now with a man thats 12 yrs younger than i am. Trust me the perks of being with a younger man is more than i can describe here.
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ChocPrncess says:Posted: 06 Sep 08I do tend to be attracted to men who are younger than I am (not to say I do not date men my age)...but hey...men have enjoyed the company of younger partners for CENTURIES! Time for women to enjoy it too if they so choose!
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kenyanito says:Posted: 05 Sep 08
not all young men are flirters..some can actually committ depending on what your terms of realtionship was about.
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MightyKing82 says:Posted: 03 Sep 08I personally enjoy the company of an older woman. As previously stated, love knows no bounds. In addition, people are in your life for a reason, season, or lifetime so you can't say that time spent with someone would be a waste of time in anyway. If this is the ladies time to shine, then so be it. I've come across a few "cougars" that could hang with me better than some kittens.
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fkoi says:Posted: 01 Sep 08
If you make assumptions about people based on age, how far are you from making them based on religion, skin tone or any of the other biased lines of thought that plague our world? Maybe the reason so many relationships don't go the distance is because those involved get involved with the stereotype and not with the person. Loving a person takes commitment, acceptance, compromise and willingness. A stereotype shell can be replaced without much thought.
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riverflowing says:Posted: 31 Aug 08
Let the women do what they got to do. I dont think these ladies are after a long term relationship copper. They want to get their groove back. Just like Stella. I say go for it...Hell men been chasing young women why cant women do it. Peace and rice!!!!
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coppertop says:Posted: 30 Aug 08
" 31st of Jul, 2008 Younger men are immature and 99% of them don't want a committed relationship with just one woman. That's why I only date in my own age group. Posted by girlsixdiva" That's a horrible thing to say. I'm sorry if you've had bad experiences in the past but that statement simply isn't true.
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coppertop says:Posted: 30 Aug 08
" 31st of Jul, 2008 Younger men are immature and 99% of them don't want a committed relationship with just one woman. That's why I only date in my own age group. Posted by girlsixdiva" That's a horrible thing to say. I'm sorry if you've had bad experiences in the past but that statement simply isn't true.
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kenyanito says:Posted: 28 Aug 08
wow..fearless life is what you make it..if you are happy the 90yr old..so be it brother
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Valerie says:Posted: 17 Aug 08I heard the term 'cougar' explained by some guys on a radio talk show a few months ago..had nothing to do with women "hunting." It's used 'cause older women are not considered hot young sex "kittens", the radio guys said. Of course we older women know we're hot & sexy too. And aparently so does many younger men who are emotionally mature. Ladies please note JAYDUB2468's comment on 8/8/08. Well, from my life experiences I've learned that an honest, reliable, good man can be much younger; while a guy my age & older can be superficial, dishonest and a waste of time. It's not the age of the man, it's his character. And while we ladies debate on should we or not go for younger; note that a man has no problem telling you he wants a younger woman as has been the stereotype for generations.
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fearlesscrus says:Posted: 17 Aug 08
Now isn't this right on time with the post I just made under "lying on your profile," saying that we should be flexible with our preferences ? I'm in my mid-fifties, but over the past year I've dated women in their 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's, and even one in her 90's. As a general rule I have more in common with the ones in their 50's, but I've learned a lot from the one in her 90's, and I've fallen in love with one who is 29 (and she thinks I'm the most wonderful man she hs ever known). The lady in her 90's is phenominal; she is more active - and looks younger - than most people my age. I've had a lot of ladies in their 20's, 30's, and even 40's reject me as being "too old", but all my 29-year-old soulmate can say is, "they just don't know...their loss is my gain!"
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kenyanito says:Posted: 16 Aug 08
why are we so concious about age? afterall its just but a number!!!
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cajuncreole says:Posted: 16 Aug 08
I loved your post. A couple of much younger men made me a very happy woman over the years and I'd even marry one if I met one that really fit with me in many directions. Two men who were 21 years younger than me actually hit on me and kept coming back again. It was paradise. They were afraid of giving me a heart ache - but I was more afraid of a heart attack. (Well not really afraid 'cause its good to die happy).
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kenyanito says:Posted: 14 Aug 08
mmmmm...what a sweet and nice topic...i was once told that i was looking at the wrong place coz of being too conscious about age..i am realy happy with my younger guy...
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impulsiva says:Posted: 11 Aug 08
I was married to someone 10 years younger for 17 years. It was great and we had 3 beautiful children. I do not consider myself a cougar but definitely a panther. I do not relate to the golf crowd and to the corvette owners over 50 so i guess i will stick to my panther ways and enjoy. let me note i do not have a problem dating with my age bracket as long as they can keep up)no pun intended} lololololo
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jaydub2468 says:Posted: 08 Aug 08I have always been attracted to women who are older than me. I have more in common with older women. I am pleased that it is becomming a more common practice.
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Sabrina says:Posted: 06 Aug 08
I personally think there is nothing wrong with an older woman having a younger man. I have always attracted younger men (at 18, one of my first boyfriends was a year younger than me..at that age it's a BIG difference...LOL)....and have always had a "young at heart" mentality so the "things in common" issue has never really been one for me. This is just another barrier/limitation that really just needs to be minimized......NOT A BIG DEAL, PEOPLE.
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1sweetblonde says:Posted: 05 Aug 08If older women chasing after younger men are called "Cougars," what is the term for a younger man who pursues an older woman? In my case younger men seem to be three times more likely to contact me than a man my age or older. And, while I won't again date someone 20 years younger, I have no problem relating to a man who is a dozen years younger - provided that he's very mature and intelligent. I only hope some of the "cougar" (older women looking for a younger boy-toy) stigma is replaced by the reality of two people of different ages finding a match in each other.
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sweetblond says:Posted: 05 Aug 08
The only aspect that bothers me about it is the name. "Cougar" would indicate that the woman is the hunter. Yet in my case, it's younger men who have been contacting me. What name do we have for younger men who are seeking out older women?
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mossimo36 says:Posted: 03 Aug 08
I dated a woman 7 years older than me. It was really a very good experience overall. While, personally, I do prefer to date someone younger, I would do it again for the right woman.
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ck says:Posted: 03 Aug 08
Are you sure that your "younger man" didn't own the hardware store? I have friends that own a great deal of lake shore property and often while tending to their own garden, people will pass by and ask "what are the OWNERS like to work for"? They smile and answer..."GREAT"! In my experience, I've found that we get our expectation. When I met my "younger man" I didn't know there was a 10 year difference because he didn't carry himself like any 23 year old I knew. Now that he's 34 and I've been able to take off 2 years to start a business and go back to school for an advanced degree...I'd have to disagree that younger men are afraid to commit or are just good for "boy toys". He's done what no other man I've known has ever done for a woman and that's "Take care of me... "financially, physically and spiritually". The key for me was respect. No matter what age...we all need it.
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Pia65 says:Posted: 02 Aug 08
Good article! I've dated guys 5 years younger than me. I wouldn't want to date say like 10 years simply because its a different generation and you have less in common. Oh, let me mention what happened yesterday...the fact that I got hit on at my local hardware store by a guy who was helping me with what kind of nails I would need for an upcoming home project. Anyway he was 30 something and asked me out to lunch. I told him thanks for the offer, but I already had lunch...which I did before I came to the store. He seemed nice, but I'm not looking for a "boy toy"...I don't think he could afford me on a salary at that store. It was just nice to have a bit of a flirt during the day. It was a good compliment to my ego! Younger guys are indeed a treasure....(ladies, if that's your thing then good for you) I just wouldn't go that far back for a mate....a platonic friend maybe since I have a few, but a mate?....Nope don't think so.
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girlsixdiva says:Posted: 31 Jul 08
Younger men are immature and 99% of them don't want a committed relationship with just one woman. That's why I only date in my own age group.
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bjayfun says:Posted: 31 Jul 08
There are only "plusses" when it comes to dating younger. The older guys only want to lay down,relay and "hold" you. The younger guys really want to give you a workout. They like to go dancing and stay active. But the best thing is in the morning they wake up "ready"!!!
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docsmom says:Posted: 27 Jul 08
I loved this article! I dated a younger man 10 years ago and he was so much fun and energetic. This one is definitely worth reading. Ladies stop limiting your unlimited opportunities!
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Zoa says:Posted: 26 Jul 08OMG!! I am so glad that our minds are open and free as it was stated, "men have been doing this for years", and "me man you woman" mentality needs to be revamped. Most of the men are on an average seven years younger than me, and you know what....Grrrrrrrr.......I enjoy them and they enjoy me the same. At this point, age and skin color is not a preference any more. Later, Z
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