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Forget what's your sign? How about what's your score?

Posted by Leticia, 14 Nov

The most important numbers to get from a new love

We've always heard how vital it is to discuss your sexual history with a new partner. No one ever tells you to swap credit history too. Who knew that three little numbers could have such a big effect and influence on your life? If you did, tell your friends because there are a lot of us walking around without a clue as to how important our credit score is to our personal and professional futures.

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Okay, tell the truth, how old were you when you first knew not only what your credit score was, but, what it meant? By a show of hands, how many people out there has ever dated someone that they thought wasn't very good with money (i.e. Always broke, borrowing money, utilities turned off, etc.) but, you thought there were cute so you overlooked it?

Too many times people have no idea that their mate has poor credit until after the wedding. That's like tying the knot with someone before you know if they want to have children or what their religious beliefs are. We know more about our mate's sexual history than their financial history and the truth is that ignorance in both instances can prove to be fatal.

So, how do you bring up such a subject with your significant other and not cause a ugly scene? Well, first they should be your significant other. There is nothing that will kill a relationship quicker than someone getting all in your "wallet" when all you wanted was to get into their "pants". After the two of you have made the decision to get serious and talk about a future "together" would be a good time to ask a couple of simple questions. Are you very good with money? How do you feel about investing vs. saving? What kind of house would you like to buy? Not too much at once...just enough to see if you share common thoughts about money. Don't be afraid to say that you aren't very good at saving, balancing your check-book, etc, and ask for their help if that's a strong talent of theirs. If you are both challenged in that area, suggest that you get a third party (accountant, financial adviser, etc.) to assist you in planning your future together. Ignorance is never bliss when it comes to having enough money to get the things you need to survive, let alone the things that you want to have fun.

The biggest reason that marriages fail is because of money. It's not always because people don't have it either. Sometimes it's because they have different ways of treating it. Some hold on too tight and others not tight enough. You must make it a point to discuss attitudes towards money with your potential life partner. Even if you have to make it out as a game, I love the "if you won one million dollars in the lottery what would you do with it" game. If taken seriously, you can find out a lot about a persons beliefs, values and spending habits. Recently, I heard the best advice given by one of those "financial experts". When asked about getting professional assistance with making financial decisions the expert said that the best person to get and give you advice is you. No one knows you better. What you don't know about money, investments and credit can easily be learned by reading more. What you don't know about your mate's financial situation and views on money can be learned by sitting down and asking them the right questions.

Feel free to play my favorite game...show and tell...with your credit reports. You know what they say "there's no romance without finance". Or my new favorite saying... we get more with a higher score!

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32 responses to "Forget what's your sign? How about what's your score?"

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  1.   Member says:
    Posted: 16 Sep 08

    love is love and nobody can stopped love......but only God he can stopped.

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  2.   Member says:
    Posted: 04 Aug 08

    God says love everyone in world do not be like ghost.

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  3.   Member says:
    Posted: 26 Jul 08

    in world firt put God first in everything you do.......??????.

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  4.   Member says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 08

    in relationship we must do sex.because there was so many people who not like sex like girls. but she like money only. ISAAC ASHUMA FROM KITALE-KENYA.

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  5.   Member says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 08

    In this world????????????????if you loose one you get another.but if you dont know how to aproaching a girl it is your problems to you.Isaac ashuma from Kitale-kenya.

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  6.   Member says:
    Posted: 18 Jul 08

    A man is a man enough.A man can not serve one woman in relationship.if we want be a man enough be like matatu we can serve three woman or more in relationship and we can be a stranger. Isaac ashuma from kitale-kenya.

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  7.   isaac says:
    Posted: 07 Jul 08

    we know some people we find money so that relationship be continue but if we dont have the relationship it cant continue. isaac ashuma from KITALE-KENYA.

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  8.   Cheeky1968 says:
    Posted: 23 Jun 08

    the past is the past i look at it this way its what counts now i dont regard a persons history s a problem to me it was before i met them as my last partner was aan escort she did that before i met her so i cant hold that against her as for me well ive had a few partners to but thats all part of life and i was always safe now ime chilled out to have sex with a woman i have to have a reason like love connection aswell as lust

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  9.   MissJamaica says:
    Posted: 05 Jun 08

    I agree with cocobaker813 and the article. America says you live and die by your score, so why act stupid about the fact that it is now as important as whether they have HIV or something just to avoid looking like a golddigger? if the person can't see the relevance of MONEY to LIFE, then they are not worth marrying and they can think whatever they like of you, from afar as you find someone who DOES share your views to keep close. people continue to ignore the fact that of the 50% of marriages that end in divorce, 90% of them are due to problems with money...so that means if 90% of us took this money thing way more seriously, only 10% of divorces would remain! It's not cheating, it's not people getting fat, it's not necessarily the kids...it's the MONEY underlying it all that's killing marriages these days. In the past, when marriages lasted, aside from the woman being home to raise the kids til school age, people did not get married to people who made their financial situation worse instead of better. people married their equals. the bible says do not be unequally yoked and it is NOT just about religion...this money matter is a prime example. yes, the reasons why the credit is bad are good to know before making a decision, but if you have a 700 and the other person has a 450, you should probably take a 3 year engagement period for them to uptheir score and once they are at even a 600, you tie the knot. And money is not the root of all evil. The bible says in Ecclesiastes that money answers ALL things. And we know that, because look how much less complicated and problematic and STRESSful life is when you have money for all needs and some wants? Proverbs says the LOVE of money, is the root of all evil. not money. The LOVE of it. I hate when people use the bible as an excuse to remain dinosaurish and ignorant, or look down on other people's sensible conclusions.

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  10.   cocobaker813 says:
    Posted: 05 May 08

    The whole credit thing is really a romance killer, but a even bigger one is money: the lack of, the loaning of, the never getting repaid after the beakup part. I'm in the camp of the "three account" relationship in marriage or living together. There's "his", "hers" and "ours". Sit down, figure out the salaries, how much each is going to contribute to the pot. All the household expenses come out of the "ours" acct.(rent, utilites,house phone, Internet, birth control expenses, cablegroceries)All the other stuff(cell phone, clothing, transportation, credit card bill, luxuries) are paid by the person who would pay it anyway if they were single. No joint credit cards, EVER!!! No "authorized user" on personal credit cards, EVER! No, "I'll get you a card in my name so you can have lower interest rates", EVER!! No "I'll register your car in my name so the insurance is cheaper, EVER!! I have seen too many of my guy and girlfriends been burned by the person with the crappy credit who would clean out the joint account or "forget" to pay the rent after the relationship is over; or got stuck with the debt of the boy/girlfriend who ran up the credit card, cellphone/text overages, or get a ton of tickets on the car when it's over. Anyone who has seen one TV court show knows that besides the babydrama, it's the debt and bills being sued for. Call me crazy, but there's nothing like dating a broke ass! It annoyed me to loan a boyfriend money and he made more than me!!

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  11.   Cindie says:
    Posted: 30 Apr 08

    I have to agree with poster Richard E. Swope. I am currently paying off a $50,000 hospital bill for my mentally ill daughter...I have been paying this bill off for MANY years (15), and am almost done. It affected my credit for a long time, but I have worked hard to bring my credit score up to 700. But because of it, men have literally "run away" from me. It's hurtful, because I never asked anyone for anything. I work two jobs and pay my own way!

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  12.   Sharon says:
    Posted: 10 Jan 08

    My theory...if they have enough money...that credit score won't matter...or pay cash and don't worry. Smiles and world peace, Sharon

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  13.   NeedsmyQueen says:
    Posted: 08 Jan 08

    Thing is, some people get hit with medical bills that areout of their control, and get deep into debt. What about these people? They didn't go around overspending, they say had an operation that cost over $100k or worse yet, multiple operations. And lets not forget prescription meds. Ican say I hadover $11,000 in Rx bills alone last year. I now have insurance, but what if I didn't? So just because a person has bad credit, it does not mean they are not worth the chance of getting to know, and maybe getting married to.

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  14.   jade74 says:
    Posted: 30 Dec 07

    Cobalt you have made a very valid statement about relationships and finances.Keep it real and to the point of what's going on and discuss issues..

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  15.   Cobalt says:
    Posted: 18 Dec 07

    I think this article brings up an interesting point. During the course of "courting" we see the telltale signs of individuals dating for reasons other than romance. Now, I am not calling anyone's baby ugly so, hear me out please. From a woman's perspective, I am sure you heard of men who have no money to pay for dinner or worse yet, their credit card had been rejected after a meal and dessert. Also, there are women who have taken on the burden of raising children without additional financial support and need assistance to make ends meet. My point is, ultimately finances will play a factor in how a relationship works (or not) and being up front about your financial status (disclosure) is important... No, you don't have to do this on the first date but, should a relationship get to where the "C" or "M" word comes up, I think it should be mentioned... Disclaimer: These are my opinions and don't reflect the opinions or beliefs of others.

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  16.   Fala says:
    Posted: 18 Dec 07

    LOL@Unme you said it!

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  17.   Fala says:
    Posted: 16 Dec 07

    Goldigger? No way! All that digging might break my nails!

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  18.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 11 Dec 07

    Not me Fala...I want to enjoy the first date before I find out he is too poor to pay the check...LOL!

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  19.   unme23 says:
    Posted: 11 Dec 07

    haha fala, you know what i meant!!

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  20.   mossimo36 says:
    Posted: 08 Dec 07

    What's your sign and credit score? lol

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  21.   Fala says:
    Posted: 05 Dec 07

    No, you're not Unme!

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  22.   ncnikki says:
    Posted: 04 Dec 07

    A bigger romance killer for me was getting involved with someone that had extremely bad credit & money management skills and as a result my credit tanked, we payed more in bank fees than we payed for monthly groceries. Neither one of us was good at this...obviously, but instead of talking about it, we thought that was the way it was done...duh!!! Now, new relationship, new attitude and feelings about money. Just because you talk about money/credit doesn't make you materialistic. But,not talking about it makes you ignorant to what's really going on. Last time I checked ignorance of anything was no excuse. I enjoyed the article and thought that it was dead on point.

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  23.   UNME23 says:
    Posted: 04 Dec 07

    the root of all evil

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  24.   Fala says:
    Posted: 04 Dec 07

    Come on Coco, you know on the first date you can't wait to get a look at his . . . bank account!

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  25.   ergey57 says:
    Posted: 03 Dec 07

    A most obnoxious article for sure...a real romance killer. Symptomatic of today's excessively materialistic society. The author should be ashamed if this is how she views relationships. Exchange credit scores indeed!!!!

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  26.   nycgal says:
    Posted: 03 Dec 07

    separate money... ALWAYS

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  27.   mossimo36 says:
    Posted: 02 Dec 07

    I ain't saying she's a goldigger

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  28.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 30 Nov 07

    Now y'all know you are wrong Moss & Fala! LOL!

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  29.   mossimo36 says:
    Posted: 27 Nov 07

    Prenup!!!

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  30.   unme23 says:
    Posted: 27 Nov 07

    that figures fala, would say that

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  31.   Fala says:
    Posted: 22 Nov 07

    When it comes to money and relationships, what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine.

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  32.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 21 Nov 07

    I think folks should keep the bank accounts separate. Either way, all of the finances need to be discussed and worked out by the couple. Everyone knows that so many marriages end because of poor money management. It always helps to have a plan before getting married or living together.

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