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The Key to Happiness & The Power of Communication

Posted by Ando, 06 Oct

We all desire to have great relationships that have fewer ups and downs and more happiness. That is the reason that people strive to meet the one because they feel a soulmate will require less work. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Every relationship requires commitment and work. Here is how to go about it...

Learn to forgive.

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Get the right perspective on what is happening. Recognize that your primary distress is coming from the hurt feelings. Give up expecting things from your partner that they do not choose to give you. Put your energy into looking for another way to get your positive goals met. Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings and thereby giving your partner who caused you pain power over you, look to achieve health, peace, and prosperity independently. If you’re too dependent on your boyfriend or girlfriend you’re stripping yourself of control over your own life. And forgiveness is your own personal power.

Be grateful.

This doesn't mean saying “thank you” after your partner takes out the trash or takes the doggy for a nice walk. This is about being thankful for having someone in your life who knows how much you hate taking out the trash so they've done you the courtesy of ridding you of that mundane task. I'm talking about being grateful to a partner who lies to your mother-in-law on the phone and claims that you can't talk on the phone because you’re out at the grocery store when in reality you’re standing five feet away. We both know how much you hate talking to your mother-in-law. I mean, come on! You didn't come out of her womb. Why should it be your job to stay on the phone with her for five hours as you patiently attempt to help her through the process of creating her own Facebook account? A partner who goes to great lengths to make sure that you’re not subjected to that kind of emotional torture is truly someone to be grateful for.

Don't overreact.

It is inevitable that in every relationship there are going to be differences. Though the problem is not that we have these differences but rather how we handle these differences. Our egos often get in the way of our rationalism. When we say or do things we don't mean out of pure turbulent emotions we threaten the tranquility of our relationship. We increase the level of stress in our partner's life. Instead of putting romance into the bedroom we've poisoned it with an awkwardness of unresolved tension. But with a little bit of consideration, awareness, and respect we can learn to contain ourselves in our moments of wreckful ecstasy.

Common goals.

Now when you were younger you wanted to be the first basketball dribbling space colonizing astronaut to take the oval office. Well, I'm sorry to be the one to burst your bubble but not all dreams come true. But there are other dreams out there though. A dream of achieving full debt freedom, turning a profit on the condo and moving to the countryside. Now that’s plausible! See, now we're getting somewhere. But the only difference between this dream and your dreams is that this dream is the dream of a couple who’s mapped out their life together. Whether it’s having three little rug rats running around the in Huggies diapers, getting a chance to travel the world, renting an apartment in upper Manhattan or winning a gold medal in the annual hot dog eating contest, one of the vital keys in relationship settling on a small handful of goals that you and your partner share.

Mutual Respect.

While this notion may seem commonsensical, you'd be surprised how many unhappy couples have forgotten this simple key factor. Respect, as Aretha Franklin taught us, is making our significant others feel valuable and important to us. But it's so much more than that. Respect is about taking an active interest in the lives of our partners. Discover what daily entertainment activities they indulge in. Find something mutually enjoyable on that list for the both of you. You have boisterous hobbies that you drag your partner to all time. Admit it! They may have claimed to enjoy themselves at that Renaissance Fair you dragged them to but honestly, their lifelong love of jousting is not the reason they dressed up like a 14th century Viking. The reason they garnished themselves as a bloody thirsty pillaging warrior is that they love you. So show them the same mutual respect and take an active interest in their lives.

A Healthy Sex Life.

Sex is a crucial part of your happiness. If you’re not being sexually satisfied then there's a key element in your life missing. Sex brings enormous satisfaction, comfort, and pleasure to millions of people. If you want a deeply satisfying sex life, become a student of your spouse's sexuality. Be conscious of their needs. Understand what turns them on. Be equipped to appease their inclinations. But it's more than simply locating the pleasure zone, more commonly referred to as the g-spot. The decisive factor in keeping this intimacy alive in the bedroom is communication. Being able to deliver awkward news or constructive criticism is a formula built up through, yes you guessed it, communication.

Experimenting in the Bedroom.

What if you or your lover wants to get a little, I don't know, experimental? You should just as easily be able to communicate that to your partner as well as anything else. But if we're consumed by our fear, why even bother with relationships? If you look at the statistics, you could be next. Millions of husbands and wives have fallen into the clutches of infidelity because their scared their spouses won't be down for the kinky and the naughty concepts floating around in their heads. But after you cheat there's no going back. Of course, you can try to come up with some excuse and tell them you were scared that they'd think you were a freak for all the sick fantasies that were running through your mind but in retrospect, maybe they had a few fantasies of their own. And when it's all said and done all your partner will have to say to you is, “Well we'll never know, will we?”