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Overcoming long distance relationship problems

Posted by Tim Levin, 20 Sep

Can long distance relationship problems be overcome by couples? Distance is just a test of how far love can travel. However, it is no secret that long distance relationships will have their own unique problems: Loneliness, jealousy, trust issues, drifting apart… For sure long distance relationships are more common these days than they were a generation ago. Could be because attitudes and expectations have changed, technology, or in some cases, you cannot avoid it due to life obligations.

Nonetheless, if you are considering it, read this article and find out how you can overcome long distance relationship problems and keep your long-distance love burning.

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Long distance relationship statistics

According to 2019 OKCupid data, 46% of women and 45% of men are open to a long-distance relationship so long as it’s with the right person. This indicates that most people are moving away from traditional forms of relationships to more stress-free kind of relationships. Some couples wait until after marriage to live together, some live together and never get married and some alternate living between their two houses. Following these long distance relationship statistics, we should expect more of these long distance relationships and more ideas from experienced couples on how to overcome its challenges. So hang in there, you are not alone.

Long distance relationship ideas

As a couple, you need to know that your relationship will need more conscious commitment on both sides since spending time together won’t be as easy. The long distance might even deepen the bond since it will help you learn a lot about yourself and your partner. This may seem scary at first but it pays off and will make all the effort quite worth it. Let’s explore some tips on how you can hack such relationships…

Always remember why you chose to be in that relationship.

Keep reminding yourself why you chose to be in a long distance relationship. Ask yourself some of these questions: Is this person your life partner? is it an open relationship? Is it for fun! Once you do that you will be able to set clear boundaries and manage each other’s expectations.

It’s important to be honest and to trust that each partner will stick to the rules of engagement. Do not send your family and friends to go spy on your partner to check if they are towing the line! Separation is not a death sentence. Sacrifices need to be made by both partners. Furthermore, being apart can be a very good time to have some ‘me’ time. Imagine being able to do the things you like that your partner doesn’t like! You could watch all those baseball games all season; you could do shopping all day without your partner being grumpy. These personal ‘me’ time adventures will actually give you things to talk about the next time you meet.

‘Under-communicate’

One of the best long distance relationship ideas is not to be overly “clawy” and possessive. You two don’t really have to communicate every 1 hour to keep the relationship going.

Ever struggled to find things to talk about with your long distance love? Have you ever felt heartsick with a longing to be with your partner, but also feel like you just have the same old tired conversations over and over again when you get on the phone?

Give yourself time to build up exciting adventures and experiences to tell each other about. You don’t need to update your partner each time your soccer team scores, or each time your dog barks. You will need to be creative with your communication.

Don’t over-rely on technology. Post a letter to compliment your emails. Post your pictures through snail mail. Send your t-shirt with your scent and a card instead of flowers. Talk about stupid, mundane moments and encounters; share your ramblings and annoyances. But don’t talk too much.

Look at it as a test of your relationship

If you are committed to that long distance relationship, then this could be the ultimate test to your relationship in general. If you are living away from your partner for long periods of time, and still managing to navigate through the Long distance relationship problems, you should believe that through this experience, the both of you will be bound together stronger.

Forget about your relationship once in a while. There are reasons why you are in a long distance relationship. Focus also on what took you there in the first place - whether it’s, work, studies or even prison! This will distract you from the long distance relationship problems without loving your partner less. Do not whine when your calls, texts or when emails aren’t replied to immediately. That sort of neediness and pressure isn’t good for your relationship, and it is a sign that you’re not feeling very secure in your relationship.

Have a plan for sex

Sexual deprivation will always be a deal breaker for long distance relationships. Keep in mind jealousy is one of the long distance relationship problems. Have a plan for sexual activity with your partner. It doesn’t have to be routine. Never underestimate the power of a surprise visit. However, there are other ways such as phone sex, video sex or even open relationships. You will need to have sex as long as it is within your agreeable boundaries and expectations.

Don’t get into it if you are not ready

Long distance relationships require a lot of work and sacrifice from both sides. And no one wants to be in a long distance relationship forever. Make sure you have a timeline and adhere to it. If you are insecure and jealous or don’t trust each other, then look for ways on how to end a long distance relationship. Forcing yourself to be in it will just be compounding to the already existing long distance relationship problems. They are already complicated as is!

Living away from your partner might actually be good for you.

Living apart may not be avoided in certain circumstances. In fact, being away from your partner enables people to avoid relationship pressures and expectations while still experiencing intimacy. Life is still happening even though you are apart from the one you want to share life with.

Do not put your life on hold. Isolating yourself from family, friends, and hobbies will only cause yourself more loneliness and pain. You will soon start feeling extremely low and over rely on your partner to keep you happy. This isn’t a good way to live for you or your partner.

So, even without your partner, go out, have fun, do the things you like. Plan your time so that you can speak to your partner. This is how face time saved my relationship. That said, also, have a life. Spending time with friends and family is an important part of keeping you sane and also distracting you from the person you miss so much.

Rejoice in the fact that living habits will be less annoying!

Being in a relationship requires compromise. However, the break away from your partner will require less compromise on your habits since you will be alone most times. If you’re living away from your partner, their annoying habits can be more tolerable and cause less conflict between you and your partner. This translates to fewer fights.

When we spend time away from our partners, we argue less because there’s less to argue about, and less time to argue. You could easily hang up the phone to give each other time to cool off and reflect without having to see each other or sleep on the couch.

Give it time

Getting used to the long distance can be a lengthy process. Give yourself and the other person time to adjust to the long distance relationship. Sometimes it will feel like you are very far from your ordinary life. And while it is beautiful to experience something as extraordinary as working abroad, it may create some distance between you and the person you’re describing it to. Give yourself time to adjust and accept the new situation.

It is without a doubt that all relationships require hard work and sacrifice, but a long distance relationship suffers problems that you might not have to face in other relationships. But, from these long distance relationship ideas, these problems are absolutely fixable. You never know, some couples may actually prefer long distance relationships than regular relationships.

For more relationship advice, visit Love is All Colors.