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How to overcome a crush on best friend

Posted by Akila, 05 Jan

Learning how to get over a crush on best friend isn't easy. Having a crush on a friend is the worst thing to ever go through, especially if your feelings aren't reciprocated. If they are then its a different story as the two of you can work something out as adults. If they are not then that is where the issue comes in. The main reason is that this is a person you constantly talk to and hang around. So if you are here looking for answers on how to stop crushing on your friend, is it impossible? I have to agree it will be hard. But then again, its something that can be done.

Well, let us take a look at how to get over your best friend...

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How to get over a crush on a friend

If you have started liking your best friend romantically but for some reason, they are not interested or they are romantically involved with someone else, then you have come to the right place. It is much harder letting go of the romantic feelings you have on a friend that letting go of a stranger's crush. And the main reason is that, with a friend, you share hobbies or even have mutual friends. So the fact that you are constantly around one another makes the feelings grow much stronger.

How long does it take to get over a crush on best friend?

Well, if you are here thinking "I have a crush on my best friend", it all depends on how determined you are to get over them. Depending on how much you are crushing on them, it can take time. So there is no definite answer when it comes to time, especially if you can't avoid bumping into them when your nursing your shattered heart.

You might be forced to even make changes that might affect your relationship as friends. You need to be disciplined enough to make these changes. So it also depends on how much you want to preserve the friendship. These changes are just a temporary measure until the crush is over. But you need to give yourself time to deal with your emotional roller coaster before running back to your friend.

Here is what to do when you have feelings for a friend...

Give yourself time to grieve

Unrequited love can be depressing. No one likes being rejected. So even the strongest of souls have it hard. The first thing on how to stop crushing on your friend is to allow yourself yo feel the grief and anger of the love that is not being reciprocated. If you are thinking "I have a crush on my best friend" and you have made the decision to move on, then you have to allow yourself to deal with the feelings of a loss of love, because to you, they are real. So for you its a real break up.

Sometimes, some of us don't respond well to unrequited love. There are times we even encourage ourselves to try harder in the hopes that it will be reciprocated eventually. Then there are those of us who follow the "Get over it already" way. The thing is, both aren't healthy.

Pursuing someone who isn't interested will only hurt you further and actually make you feel pathetic. It will also eat into your healing time. But you need not feel pathetic about grieving over lost love. Stay home. Eat tons of ice cream. Scream into your pillow in frustration. Do whatever it is that you normally do when you’re coping with sadness and loss. Feel it. Own it. Give yourself that time.

Keep a little distance

Now I am not saying that you stop hanging out with them completely or give you some hardcore rules on how to handle the distance. People are different. And what works for someone else might not work for your relationship. That said if you are really looking for answers on how to end a crush on a friend, then you will have to create some extra space between you and the crush on a female friend or male friend. Give yourself some space to deal with these feelings.

Processing your feelings can be harder, no matter how much they have said they are not interested. Some moments of closeness can be misinterpreted as a change of heart and bring back the feelings for your best friend. This might make you go through the mourning period over and over.

If you really want to know how to get over your best friend, cut the amount of time you spend. If you keep saying "I am thinking of my best friend", then try reducing the amount of time you spend talking to them. You could take a few weeks off from hanging out with them. Use this time to focus on other relationships in your life and other activities. Whatever works for you, just create the space.

If the relationship has been feeling like its one-side, take a step back. Sperate being nice with the hope that they might someday feel what you are feeling.

One of the things that make it hard to settle into a friendship when you’re yearning for a romance is how hard our culture promotes romantic love as the be-all, end-all of life.

Engage in non-romantic media and activities

If you want to get over a crush on best friend, there are a lot of non-romantic activities to engage in out there. The thing is, it is going to be harder to move on from liking your best friend if you bombard yourself with romance movies, books, and songs. Make a conscious choice of avoiding romantic media. Look for books, movies and songs that are centered around other things but romantic plots. Also, keep off media that you used to enjoy together otherwise they will only remind you of that unrequited love.

The thing is to focus your attention on things that uplift you as opposed to things that put you down. The thing with romantic movies is that most are fictional. They tend to paint an unrealistic view of love. So when trying to heal from unrequited love, it might highlight how you are failing it that arena. They paint a picture of someone persistently going after their object of affection until they finally give in. They even show that if you don't pursue that unreciprocated love, that you will be haunted by the thought forever.

Pursuing someone relentlessly in reality only pushes them away. And even if you are aware of the reality of the matter, watching such media tends to hammer the opposite message making it harder to let go. So if you decide to step back, then look for new horizons.

Appreciate your friendship

How important is your friendship with your best friend? The reason why you are on Love is All Colors reading this article is because you are here to learn how to get over a crush on a friend and how you can maintain the friendship afterward. So let us not complicate things or do things that might risk your friendship. Putting pressure on having a romantic relationship with this friend will start making them avoid you, especially if it puts them in an awkward position.

The best way to go about it is to make a list of why this friendship is important to you. Then focus on those reasons so that you can focus on the real picture - keeping them as a friend. Just because you have a crush on best friend doesn't mean that you can't still have a meaningful relationship that is not romantic. Appreciate them for who they are as a person and that you had the chance to be friends with them.

The thing is to be open with them and let them understand why you need some space. And if you find it hard to come clean with your feelings, just say that you are going through something and you need time alone. Make sure that they are aware that its just space you need and not a complete break up from the friendship.

Much as you are taking some time off, always check up on them once in a while and let them know that you still care about them.

The bottom line is, if you find it harder to get over them, friends move on too. So if unrequited love is too much to take in, do yourself a favor and cut down all ties.

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