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Should you find everything you want in your partner?

Posted by Sidney, 12 Jun

We all have a list of everything you want in a partner. But does this mean that you should religiously stick to it? Should make a few compromises here and there. It's ok to at least have an idea of the person you plan on spending the rest of your life with. Unfortunately, some people can really get superficial and unrealistic with this list of the one. And this being rigid has cost a lot of single men and women the chance of finding true happiness. There is nothing wrong with wanting a hot man or woman who is smart, funny, understanding, respectful... However, the chances of getting the whole package plus the hobbies is usually not possible. You win some, you lose some.

Well, read on to find out how you can prioritize this list and increase your chances of meeting your significant other...

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Balancing expectations vs reality

There is nothing wrong with having that list. We are all allowed to dream a little. We are allowed to have the fantasy of meeting that perfect partner who has everything you want. It's ok to dream a little. But if you want to meet that special someone faster, you will need to come down to earth. And in the perfect world, perfect doesn't exist. We all come with our baggage and flaws. If that is the case, why should we have unrealistic expectations about a potential mate? We need to prioritize this list if we want to have successful relationships. She might not be a hot blonde but she might be the most loving and kind-hearted individual.

Here are some of the qualities that are important for a healthy relationship with significant other...

Kindness

I know I have mentioned earlier about being able to compromise. Well, kindness is not something that you should. This should come first because most kind partners are usually more caring and empathetic. And kind people are also very loving. You might not find everything you want in your partner, for instance, hot body and great income, but you definitely want a kind mate.

Ever heard that saying that goes: Behind every beautiful woman there is a man fed up with her shit. Well, once you get into the relationship, things like beauty stop mattering. What matters is how you treat one another. And finding someone who treats you well should come over physical traits or even income.

Loyalty and reliability

You want a partner who can say all I want is you. You want a partner who is loyal to you and who can offer to give themselves freely without stepping out of the relationship and being unfaithful. Loyalty is a trait that we shouldn't compromise on. It should be high up on the list. You need to be with a partner who is dependable, reliable and one that you can love and trust freely. If he says he will call, he does so. If he promises to do something, he does. Dependable men and women are truthful and trustworthy.

There are some people who don't really care about dating cheaters. They would easily give them a second chance. But such relationships are unhealthy. You don't need to be with someone you will keep telling them I want you to want me. You need someone who loves you enough to say all I want is you and keep it in their pants for you.

Go for someone with similar interests and values

It has been proven over and over again that couples with similar interests and values have a better relationship. So, you might not get everything you want from the potential partner but at least have similar core values and interests. They are usually happier because they can share their interests together. For instance, movie watchers can spend time together enjoying their movies.

There are some things that one can compromise on. But if you meet a person who wants to have children sooner and you, on the other hand, are set on building that career, then it can be a recipe for disaster. Having different opinions isn't bad. But then again, if it comes to core things like children, you need to be on the same page.

Find someone who is realistic enough to understand that relationships need work

Speaking of expectations vs reality we know that when it comes to women, men and relationships we are somehow wired differently. Men might solve their issues rationally. Women, on the other hand, tend to be more emotional. Starting out, things will be smoother. But with time, every relationship is bound to hit some bumps. Get a person who is realistic enough to understand this - a person who is willing to do the work to make the relationship better.

For more advice on healthy relationships, visit InterracialDating.