When is it time to take it to the Next Level?
Moving In or Moving On!
All relationships have stages. The movement from one stage to another is determined by the people in that relationship. How do you know if it's time for you to take the "next step" or keep on stepping...out of your relationship? What are the signs that mark the beginning of the end? How do you determine your next move?
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They say that hindsight is 20/20. You know the reason people say that is because if given the chance to look back things are so much more clear then say trying to look into the future. How many times have you heard or said yourself, "why didn't I see that coming?" The truth is that all the signs were there, you were probable just looking out the other window.
I've heard this a thousand times so I will share it with you. If you've already heard it then there must be some truth in it. If not, remember that I told you so. Ahhmmm, it's okay to just pause and do nothing...until you know what to do. Let me clarify. If you are not sure if it's time to move in or move on, it's okay to wait before you make a decision. The problem that many couples face is rushing into making a choice before they've thought out the pros and cons.
If you are really in love with someone and they want you to move in but you're not ready, the signs of it being a healthy relationship are that you will be able to talk about your fears and doubts. Ask for more time to think about it, and most importantly don't allow yourself to be rushed into making a decision that you are not ready to make. You also have to be realistic. It's not likely or fare to believe that someone will wait for say...three to five years for you to make up your mind. At the same time, trust your instinct. If you are really in love with someone and there's a gut feeling that cohabitating isn't the way to go...listen to that gut.
A big mistake that we make in relationships is not listening. Sometimes we hear what we want to hear and not what the other person or their "actions" are telling us. So, it would seem to me that before you make a really life changing decision about moving in or on, you first make sure that you know what each other truly wants out of the relationship. Is the goal in moving in to save money or prepare for a larger and legal arrangement? How long will you live together before you take the "next" step? Will there be a "next" step or is moving in IT?
The biggest mistake that you could make is to agree to one thing in hopes of changing the other person or their mind...usually, the only thing that gets changed is how you end up feeling about them and yourself. I can't say it enough; communication is the greatest tool that you and your mate can have. It's more reliable than any article, book or therapist. If you can't talk to your partner, then you really have to ask yourself why you are in that relationship. What is it really doing for you as a person? And what are the chances that it will improve in the future?
Sometimes the hardest part is being honest with yourself. At some point in our lives, we have all either given up too soon or stayed in a relationship too long. Hopefully, we've learned the lesson and allowed ourselves the opportunity to grow and use that knowledge the next go round. If not, well, maybe today is the day that we begin?!
This is Leticia and it doesn't matter if your choice is to move in or move on, just make the right choice for you.
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41 responses to "When is it time to take it to the Next Level?"
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sonu786 says:Posted: 04 Jul 07very very nice and Pretty good article,,keep always for next ???????
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Coco says:Posted: 15 May 07Seriously, I say trust your intuition. If it doesn't feel right, then it probably isn't.
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Icanjustbeme says:Posted: 10 May 07The next level can be the first and/or the last level, you'll both know when it is right you'll both feel it together. If it is only one-sided then don't go there because someone going to walk away either hurt or dissatisfied with the outcome.
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pleasjure13 says:Posted: 10 May 07Sometimes when it feels wrong it could be right especially if there is a willingness.
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sweetnes20 says:Posted: 08 May 07
everybody knows deep down, when it feels right.
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NICEFELLA115 says:Posted: 05 May 07
SOMETIMES ITS BETTER TO BE ON TOP, THEN THE BOTTOM.
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Cocokisses says:Posted: 03 May 07
Funny Fala...but we all know that sometimes the elevators don't always go to the top :)
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nicefella115 says:Posted: 01 May 07
hard to move on, when the other party doesnt want to.
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mossimo36 says:Posted: 30 Apr 07
Next level when both parties agree...that is not so hard is it?
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anne says:Posted: 30 Apr 07
Some very key points here...i am so glad to hear that it's ok to "pause", because it reaffirmed for me what i know to be true, search myself and don't make a rash decision @ this point in my life can't afford to ,it has to be for the right resons...thank u
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Fala says:Posted: 28 Apr 07
You know you re ready to take it to the next level when the elevator arrives.
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pleasjure13 says:Posted: 27 Apr 07
Being able to communicate in a relationship is essential.Talking does not necessarily mean agreeing all of the time. " If two people agree all of the time then one of them is useless...if they disagree all of the time then both of them are useless."
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SWEETNES20 says:Posted: 24 Apr 07
THANKS FOR THE GREAT READING ADVICE ARTICLE.
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pleasjure13 says:Posted: 23 Apr 07
True all relationships have stages...mine is ground zero.
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mossimo36 says:Posted: 22 Apr 07
Thanks for posting this article!! Keep em coming!!
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theladycreole says:Posted: 22 Apr 07
Good article but had several errors in syntax, spelling and grammar.
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Cocokisses says:Posted: 20 Apr 07
You will know when its the right time...your heart will tell you so :)
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Definitely don't ignore those flags - that's what gets you into trouble.