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Dating as a biracial person in 2019

Posted by James, 17 Jul

Is there such a thing as dating within your own race if you are a biracial person? Just for the sake of argument, can one really say that their preference is biracial? This brings me to an article about the TV show Love Island where two contestants, Ellie and Georgia were blasted for declaring their dating preference as mixed race. Now, some people felt calling mixed race a "type" to mean that all mixed race individuals look the same negating the fact that there are various racial combinations.

Well, read as we delve into what it is like for mixed race individuals dating today...

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Dating for mixed women and men in 2019

A lot has been written about the dating experiences of monoracial individuals. But what about those of biracial individuals? We have to admit that the romantic stories of people who identify as "other" rarely dominate the cyberspace.

Going by how people choose their mates, most people are usually attracted to people who look like them. People usually tend to lean towards the familiar. So, if people are attracted to people who look like them, does this mean that mixed individuals should automatically be romantically drawn to other mixed race individuals?

First of all, we have to come to terms with the fact that biracial is not a single ethnicity. There various biracial examples based on the racial combinations. We have Latino-black, white-Asian, Asian-black, black-white... You can think of any racial combination you want. And when we talk about mixed race, then they are even more varied as the person can have more than two racial combinations - Asian-white-black... So it gets tricky when a person says they are attracted to mixed individuals. One would understand why the two Love Island contestants got blasted on the internet for saying that "mixed" is their type.

Then there is this theory that men are attracted to women who look like their mothers and women are attracted to men who look like their fathers. So if I am Asian-White and my mom is white, going by this theory means that I will find white women more attractive. Like I said, it is just a theory.

Is dating when you are a mixed girl or dude the same as for monoracial individuals?

Biracial dating is basically the same as monoracial dating. But people will still ask what it is like what it's like dating as a mixed girl or dude. Dating is just dating, right? The sequence of events is meant to be similar. Why do people think its totally different yet we all know that love is a universal language? So dating biracial women won't make you more interesting just because you think they are exotic.

So we like to believe so. Sadly, the differences still exist. There is nothing like being colorblind out there no matter how much people think of themselves as so. In reality, they are just saying that to avoid this rather uncomfortable conversation about race. It is 2019. Unfortunately, there is still racism here and there. Even white people experience it.

When you come from a biracial family, your background will always be the topic of conversation even in the dating scene. Now, I am not saying that curiosity is a bad thing. But the thing is, for most mixed women and men, it feels like one is trying to determine how black or how Asian one is. So why not just give someone a lesson on how to be black then? The thing is, biracial will never culturally aligned with anyone they date. People will always give you lessons on how to be black or how to be Latino enough!

What its like dating online as a biracial individual?

Most mixed race individuals have talked about getting weird pick up lines and messages. Most of these messages lean towards them being "exotic-looking'. There is usually this fascination with exotic beauty. Now, more than half the time, these lines are meant as a compliment a show of interest in a person. Unfortunately, when you are on the receiving end, it comes off as fetishization or objectification of biracial women. It arouses a lot of trust issues. "What are you?" "Where are you from?" One is left to wonder what kind of answers such people expect. "I am an alien"? "I am from Mars"? The thing is: instead of asking, why not get to know someone first and let them bring that topic up themselves? Trust me, it will always come up.

Clinical psychologist Goal Auzeen Saedi sees calling someone exotic as some king of biracial discrimination. On Psychology Today she says:

"Calling [someone] exotic assumes she is essentially an other and somehow different, though the connotation is not particularly positive. While many intend it as a compliment, when you really break it down, an exotic beauty is not the same as a true beauty. Therefore, it is ultimately a discriminatory sentiment."

Now that said, there are other multiracial individuals who prefer online dating to real-life dating. To them, they feel that online dating gives them the platform to display their identity on their profiles. So basically, when someone decides to talk to you, they already know. 'Let us skip the awkward questions and get to know each other already' kind of thing.

Does dating between a mixed individual and a monoracial person qualify as biracial?

Well, in this case, and in 2019, most people will call this multiracial dating. But during the earlier years when racial mixing was seen as taboo, they went with the 'one-drop rule'. So for instance, if you were born of a black and white couple, you were automatically black. If white-Latino, you were dubbed Latino. The rule was, no matter how much white you had in you, so long as you had a drop of blood of the minority ethnicities in you, you were to identify with the minority. I guess this is the reason the likes of Mariah Carey, call themselves black. Which brings us to the next question...

Does it still qualify as interracial dating when you are mixed?

So when for instance, if Halle Berry (mixed) dated Idris Alba, people will call it dating within their race. I mean, Berry identifies as black. They won't be seen as a biracial couple. The one thing you have to admit is that biracials will always be out of context when it comes to dating.

For mixed people, there is some uniqueness that comes with living in more than one world. But this uniqueness comes with its own challenges. You just won't quite fit anywhere. Not white enough and not black, Latino or Asian enough. People will always see you as a watered-down race...

Dating is dating. The ethnic blend is something that people need to stop focusing on. All mixed individuals want, is appreciation. Just because one is a product of a biracial couple does not make them any less American or Briton or Chinese or Spanish... Just date someone for who they are...

For more articles about racial prejudice, race relations and interracial dating, how about visiting Interacial Dating Central today. Remember to share your views and opinions.