Assumptions People Make on Interracial Relationships in Africa
The notion that white is better seems to be everywhere; especially in Africa. So when it comes to interracial relationships in Africa, so long as one is dating or marrying a non-black person, the spouse is viewed as better. People automatically assume that they are more cultured and more moneyed.
Interracial relationship are viewed as people marrying for status - trading up. Because of the status issue, a lot of expectations are put on the couple. I remember, a friend of mine who had just started dating this white dude once asked her parents for college money. The mom retorted: “You are asking me for money and you are dating a white man!!?”
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The thing is: friends and family automatically expect gifts and other favors from the non-black spouse. And when you go out for drinks or meals, friends and family expect them to get the check. Even the waiters and waitresses assume that he or she will pay so they hand them the check.
Prostitution is also one thing associated with these relationships. Much as they are now seen as a norm, more often than not, when a non-black man books a hotel room, no matter the kind of relationship they have, the first thing that comes to people’s minds is that the black woman is prostitute. So there will always be stares and murmurs after they pass by.
People also assume that sex must be better. The assumption is that non-blacks treat their spouses better than blacks do; be it sexually and emotionally. So the first thing friends ask is: 'How is the sex?' For some reason, they expect it to be kinkier and freer. There is also the assumption that they express themselves better than blacks would, hence, a better, more loving relationship.
That said, a lot has changed and people don’t gawk or stare as much as they used to say 20 years ago. Even with the said assumptions and expectations, it’s quite normal to see interracial couples; especially when you go to the big malls and most tourist destinations. But trust me, there are quite a number of people who still have the said assumptions and expectations deeply embedded within them.
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Very true