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Are One Night Stands a Premonition of an Unsteady Dating Life?

Posted by Sidney, 12 May

One night stand

Have you ever had a one night stand? Was it something you had planned on doing or was it something that just happened after some night of serious drinking? How did you feel after you had sex with someone you never wanted to have sex again?

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How it happened doesn’t really matter. The thing with one night stands is there is the morality question that comes into play. Most ‘holy Joes’ see it as something immoral. There are quite a number of people who have regrets afterward. On the other hand, there are those who do it over and over again.

But this define one’s dating life? Does it mean that because you are a repeat ‘offender’ your dating life is unsteady?

In my opinion, we can’t just bash one night standers because a lot of relationships begin with a one night stand. You have sex with someone the same day or a few hours after you met them only to realize that you really like one another and would like to see each other again.

Some men usually feel women who have one night stands are easy and unstable. Such would never even consider a relationship after giving it up on the first day you met.

But what of the man or woman who is divorced or widowed, who doesn’t want anything serious? All they want is someone who can tackle a ‘dry spell’ once in a while. I think for such, it’s a choice. It has got no bearing on their dating lives. They don’t want to date. PERIOD!

However, there are those people who have been hurt over and over. There are those who have given up on love and dating. People who have been emotionally hurt before often find themselves having sex as a way of releasing the hurt.

In extreme cases, having sex with someone and tip toeing in the morning is a revenge thing. They feel they have stuck to whoever hurt them. It’s like ‘since she hurt me, all other women have to pay for it’. Now, that my good people signifies an unsteady dating life. Let’s be real. Who would you be hurting here?

Using sex to deal with your hurt isn’t the solution. In the end, you are still lonely. The hurt doesn’t go away. If anything, you find yourself regretting every bit of it once you realize the only person you are hurting with your string of one night stands is yourself.

If the above is why you do it, then you need to look inside yourself, accept that some relationships don’t work, deal with your feelings and move on. Cry as much as you have to. Take a vacation. Talk to someone. Eventually, the hurt fades. And you can open up yourself to dating again.

If it happened because you got drunk and someone looked super sexy after midnight, then we can’t really tie that to dating. People have done worst things than dropping their pants while drunk. And if you do it just to kill that dry spell, well, it’s your choice.

In conclusion, the reason behind a one night stand is what determines whether it’s a sign of an unstable dating life.

1 responses to "Are One Night Stands a Premonition of an Unsteady Dating Life?"

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Lizhbs says:

Posted: 20 Sep 17

I've always found it so interesting, the double standard with one night stands. Women are vilified, men are revered. Never mind that sex can be just a release, like the article mentioned. I know people have weird ideologies regarding getting physical, like, when to, whether or not to, what that person will think if you do, etc. I've even heard of guys who weren't okay with a woman being that aggressive toward them. Here's some advice, folks: try honesty. I know it doesn't always work, but, I believe that a lot of misconceptions would be cleared up this way. We're made of sterner stuff than is imagined, so if you want that ONS, go for it. Just be honest about it. If something develops from it, great. If not, great. Move on. Either you'll tire of the scene or you'll thrive in it. It's all up to the individual.

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